the mcdowell clan

the side effects of taking a picture a day

2012-02-10T14:13:00.004-05:00

you may recall this post, which documents finn's decline into the incredibly fake photo smile right around his 2nd birthday. luckily, that period of time didn't last long and his current photos show his natural smiles, which, don't get me wrong, are still oozing with cheesiness. well, in the last week, much sooner than her brother, ada has developed her trademark cheesy photo face. if i come near with the camera, there is a near 100% guarantee that sweet face will morph into this contorted squished face of cheesy goodness. she is after all quite advanced for her age.

week 5

2012-02-10T13:42:00.004-05:00

i feel the strong desire to confess.... i missed a day this week. i know. i know. i'm barely a full month into a twelve month project and i'm already forgetting to take one single picture of anything that crosses my path! there is no excuse when nearly half of my photos were taken on my iphone and i do not dare leave the house without my iphone. so what was i to do? well, coincidentally, there just happened to be another day where i was going back and forth between two photos, so i just slipped it into the empty day. i thought to myself, "no one will know." but then the guilt started to sink in and i knew there was a confession post coming. i won't tell you which day is the fake out, but will you still forgive me?

day 29
day 30
day 31
day 32
day 33
day 34
day 35

week 4

2012-01-30T16:50:00.005-05:00

day 22
day 23
day 24
day 25
day 26

day 27
day 28

progression of bravery into stupidity

2012-01-23T13:49:00.004-05:00

ada is usually a cautious girl. she's terrified of the stairs. she doesn't like any sudden movements while you're holding her. she has a death grip against you while you carry her around. i can literally let go of her sometimes and her body is so tightly grasped against mine that she doesn't move and looks like a baby monkey. it's quite adorable.

her caution is perhaps a thing of the past. early last week, i walked in to see her doing this.

doesn't she look so devious? today, i just walked in to this.

i asked finn to watch her while i went to the bathroom. his response when i asked why he wasn't paying attention? "i was watching her. she's just trying to climb on top of josh's desk." then he went back to his cars. what a stinker!

week 3

2012-01-23T12:57:00.000-05:00

day 15
day 16day 17day 18
day 19day 20day 21 - i know it's 4 images, but all were too cute!

week 2

2012-01-18T10:30:00.005-05:00

*note: if you find yourself asking, "why on earth did she pick that picture?" there's a simple answer. it's the only one i had for that day. i hope to get better as time goes on. but until then. enjoy the picture of my newly organized pantry shelf.

day 8
day 9
day 10

day 11

day 12

day 13
day 14

first and third christmases

2012-01-18T10:16:00.014-05:00

it's hard to believe that this was ada's first christmas. when it was finn's first christmas, he was just a squishy little thing that wanted nothing more than boob and mommy.
come to think of it, ada wanted nothing more than boob and mommy. so i guess there isn't that much of a difference between the two. ada hit that stage recently of wanting to hang on me at all times and never lead my side. it's adorable with the first child. not so adorable with the second. with the second, it's like, "okay, fine. just ride on my hip, while i whip you around and try to do everything that needs to get done with the restriction of only using one arm. let's do this thing." getting things done is possible, but slightly annoying. this desire to be attached at all times to her mommy was only compounded by the increased number of people and lack of naps that christmastime brings.

whining aside, it was an amazing christmas. the month of december was just an endless stream of birthday parties and christmas events and busyness and GO! GO! GO! but i wouldn't have it any other way. i prayed really hard that God wouldn't let me get in the way of having fun this season. every year, i schedule events for each weekend (and most weekdays) because i am immensely in love with our families and want to spend every possible moment with them. then i freak out because i'm overbooked and stress about the details. it's plain stupid.

however this year, i really felt an answer to prayer. in the midst of stressing out, i would say a little prayer and suddenly be reminded that things don't need to be perfect. that the moments we spend together are more important than food being prepared on time, the presents being perfectly wrapped, the presents costing an absurd amount, and the family being cohesively dressed. okay, that last one may have triggered a tiny meltdown, but i think i'm in the right here. if your entire family is wearing red, black, and white, would you pick a plaid orange and blue shirt? oh men! josh didn't understand that stress and why i cared so much about what he wore. regardless, i liked this christmas. i hope all others can live up to this year.

*note: i'll post on the birthday party as soon as i get photos from alyssa. apparently, when josh said he was going to be in charge of taking pictures, he meant four pictures. luckily, i have a snap happy sister-in-law who documents my life more than i do.

week 1

2012-01-09T11:37:00.005-05:00

this year, i've decided to participate in project 365. it's on my list of 30 things to do before i'm 30 (more on that later), so i figure i better start. i'm quickly approaching that cutoff. it's pretty easy. take a photo every day for 1 year in order to see what your life means, what's important to you. week 1 shows kids. big surprise! i'm going to document it week-by-week here on the blog. plus, it will help me make at least a weekly update on here. win win! document life with photos. document life with text. i'm pretty excited about where 2012 might take us. here goes.

day 1
day 2
day 3
day 4day 5
day 6

day 7

first black eye

2011-10-26T11:05:00.002-04:00

2 years 10 months and i'm guessing around 457 times of hitting his head, yet this is finn's very first black eye. it took the combination my niece macy's skull and a jumpy house to allow us this first. and finn didn't even cry. what a man!

my little constructioneer

2011-10-26T10:51:00.004-04:00

i've been off of work for five days. five glorious days which have been spent mostly appeasing finn as he is sick. meanwhile, i'm sick, but neither child is doing much for me. selfish selfish children. regardless, finn and i have been having fun, and i'm trying as hard as i can to be actively playing with my kids for a good part of the day. that is said as i'm sitting on the computer and finn is coloring underneath my desk and i have my knees pulled up to my chest as finn requested that i give him more space to work. this apparently is a time that he wants less active participation by mom.

because of this illness, we have been inside a lot. i go crazy being inside a lot, especially knowing that winter is coming and i'll be stuck here even more. any excuse to get out of the house, even for two minutes is worth it. yesterday and today, men were working on our street fixing another portion that is crumbling apart, and the moment i heard the trucks coming, i clothed finn and we ran out to watch them. naturally, i told the construction workers that it was finn who heard them and begged me to take him outside. they let us check out the back hoe and finn was mesmerized. today, we watched them shovel asphalt into the hole and when i told finn it was time to come in, he simply said, "no, i'm going to stay out here with the constructioneers." my fears of an unfriendly child are resolved.

life as an only

2011-10-22T14:30:00.003-04:00

yesterday, i dropped finn off at his grandparents for a night away. they went camping, which is the only way that child will ever experience camping. we aren't campers. don't get me wrong, we like the outdoors. i would love to spend the entire day hiking trails, taking walks, just enjoying nature. but one thing i am certain of, i will be spending the night in a bed indoors where there is running water and heat and a place for my kids to sleep that is separate from where my body rests. my mother-in-law likes to tell me that one day i'll be a camper, like this is a phase. this is not a phase, kathy, i will never join you for a week in the wilderness, unless there is a lodge. if there is a spa in that lodge, then definitely sign me up.

i was extremely excited to have two days alone with my second child, especially when i received a call 1 hour after drop-off from my mother-in-law saying, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM? DID YOU GIVE HIM CANDY FOR BREAKFAST? HE'S TALKING REALLY FAST AND WON'T STOP MOVING AND LOOKS LIKE HE IS GOING TO FLY OUT OF THE CARSEAT AT ANY MOMENT?" that little conversation was enough to give me a greater spring in my step as i realized that i didn't have to deal with finn during one of his crazy, hyper, "watch me watch me watch me watch me", this-is-what-it-would-look-like-if-toddlers-took-cocaine type days.

there is one problem with this night away though. i think ada is enjoying this only child thing quite a bit. i didn't know that a ten month old would even realize the difference in the amount of attention she received, but it's amazing. she was giggling non-stop for the first hour we were alone. she wouldn't stop talking the entire time we were at lunch together. when people stopped to talk to her at the store, she would look into the back of the cart where finn usually is, then crack up. it was adorable, but a little sinister. i hope she's nice when he gets back. for the next two hours though, i'm going to pour as much attention on this little girl as possible. because seriously, how adorable is she?!

oh my heart.

2011-10-07T13:29:00.000-04:00

needs vs. wants

2011-10-07T12:27:00.005-04:00

i didn't realize that life would change so much by simply adding just one person into the mix. it's been a little over 9 months since that person entered our family. i'm just getting to the point where i can handle the added craziness and work. i think. i say that and then this afternoon i will likely be scrubbing poop out of the carpet while trying to prevent the pooper from crawling through said poop while choking on tiny pieces of lint she found in the carpet as finn shouts, "look at me mommy. turn your head and look and me. watch me do this." followed by him jumping in a circle or something equally exciting. it's just a normal day in my life of juggling the one who needs the most attention with the one who wants the most attention. case in point, this series of photos attempting to get one image of ada standing up. eighth times the charm.

1st day of school

2011-10-01T13:33:00.000-04:00

i used to turn my nose up to those women. you know. the ones who cried when their kids went to school for the first time. why on earth would anyone cry? their children hadn't left them for good. it's just preschool. plus, that the point of parenthood and the nature of life. you have babies who grow up into toddlers and go to preschool and guess what? then they grow into older kids who go to elementary school!!! suck it up ladies, and deal with it! those women are crazy! am i right?

WRONG! sitting at finn's preschool parent orientation at the end of august brought a flood of emotions that i was not prepared to deal with. the teachers simply talking about how to drop off your child was enough to bring tears to my eyes. tears in my cynical, judging eyes. retribution for all those women who i made fun of. come first day of school, i sat in the parking lot for the entire time just making sure finn was okay. i couldn't bear to leave.

don't get me wrong, i see the positive side of this. i relish the time that finn is at school making friends and learning to be more independent. and for two and half hours, ada and i have a little girly one-on-one time, which is usually just spent with me picking up coffee and us giggling at each other and enjoying the silence. but then i look at her, and i remember that only two years ago, i was staring at my firstborn in the same way, while he was just learning to do the exact same things that she is. that firstborn is now in school. cue the waterworks and stop judging me.

delores

2011-09-07T11:00:00.004-04:00

delores. it just sounds like a sweet grandma name, doesn't it? i would hope that everyone has a grandma who is a kind-hearted, selfless, amazing woman. who shares her warmth and love openly. who is the quiet, underlying foundation of their family. i was blessed with two of those women. on sunday, the second went home to heaven.

my grandma was an incredible woman, an incredible role model. Christ was the center of her life, followed closely by her family and dear friends. she raised three more incredible women, who i get the pleasure of calling my mom and aunts. for that alone, i am forever grateful. she showed me how to love, respect, and adore your family. she showed me how to live in spite of events that could cause you to stumble. over the last few years, i have watched this woman become stronger than i had ever gotten to witness. she became a fighter. she used everything she could to try to kick cancer's ass. more importantly, she ignored cancer when she could and continued to live her life.

there's nothing sad about losing a life well lived. she was a courageous woman until the very end. my dear grandma, i will cherish you throughout my life.

happy father's day!

2011-06-19T14:41:00.006-04:00

my dad thinks it's funny to take a horrible picture before taking a nice, relaxed one. it's just his thing. now i know to take at least two photos every time because there's a good chance he'll have a crazy face in the first one. i think my brothers have inherited this trait. it's annoying because it took me far too long to find a normal photo of my dad and i. lots of sorting through photos of my brothers fake-punching each other in the nuts or my dad with his googly eyes. i'm related to a brood full of crazies, but i wouldn't trade them for anyone! happy father's day, dad!

avery and ada

2011-06-11T17:02:00.003-04:00

they're destined to be best friends just like their mommies. i'm so glad to finally have gotten to meet avery jane, my friend betsy's sweet little lady! it's also good to unload the hardships of newborns (and now not-so-newborns) with someone who is going through it at the same exact time. i love you bets and am looking forward to many adventures with our kids!

3 months later

2011-05-30T11:29:00.000-04:00

if you remember this, you will not believe how calm finn was this time we took an adventure to the farm. when we got there, he acted like he and the owner were best of friends. two farmers who had known each other their entire lives. he marched back to the barns with his rain boots on as if he was in charge of the place, walking in on about 6 pigs who like to snack on marshmallows. i seriously could not have written a better scenario for children. pigs eating marshmallows. who knew? finn was in heaven and i was just happy he wasn't crying like the last time.

a day away

2011-05-27T10:00:00.004-04:00

i don't get to spend much time alone with finn. if i do, it's about ten minutes before i hear the distant cries of a certain someone and finn says, "go get ada...she's sad," then hangs his head. talk about an immense surge of mommy guilt.

needless to say, when i told finn that he and i were going to go to the zoo by ourselves, he was a little confused but thoroughly excited. he kept saying, "ada's at home with daddy. mommy and finn are alone. we didn't bring ada with us. just me and my mommy at the zoo. i'm holding mommy's hand and ada is at home" and so on and so forth. literally. so on and so forth, because the kid wouldn't shut up about everything he was seeing or smelling or feeling or thinking. we were gone for about three hours and i don't i experienced ten seconds straight of silence. we were alone and having fun and he wanted me to know. guilt erased!

may 1st

2011-05-18T08:28:00.004-04:00

three sundays ago, the sermon was on baptism and the importance of making this public proclamation of your relationship with Christ, and the whole time i felt this intense urging to do it. my mind was racing with questions and concerns and what-ifs. should i do it the next time they offer it? should i wait until finn wants to get baptized-that'd be so cool? what would i say on the video they run before dunking me? would people wonder why i hadn't done it before? i wonder if the water is freezing?! which clothes should i wear so i don't look stupid? what if they dunk me too long, i panic and scream as i'm coming up? that will scare anyone else away...

i know. mostly ridiculous questions that have nothing to do with the purpose of baptism, but, for the first time, i was certain of one thing. i actually wanted to get baptized. i had been fighting this for years and years, because i was just too dang proud. i had gotten baptized as an infant, but the more contemporary churches i later attended all insisted that baptism be a choice you make after you've accepted Christ into you life. i got the whole idea behind it, but i had this feeling of, "if i've been a christian for 15+ years, there's no point in getting baptized now with the 'new christians'." and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. stop being so proud! a 15-year old christian is no better than a 5-minute old christian. just proclaim Christ is my center. this is about me and Him, not me and the rest of the church.

and after this final understanding, i look up and notice the baptismal on the stage. dang! they are going to do a spontaneous baptism, right in the midst of my revelation where i can't turn back. it's amazing how God changes our hearts just in time, huh? seconds later, robbie asked anyone who wanted to participate to go to the back to change into clothes they had available and come on out for the baptism. it was the most amazing experience. there i was in oversized men's workout attire and an old-lady swimming suit, climbing into a cow trough with a seat made of a cinder block and what i think was a plastic cutting board on top (our church budget is pretty small), getting baptized in the name of Christ. it was the perfect way for me to do it. just getting out of my own way and letting my heart openly express my love.

oh, josh got baptized, too (very cool!). and no, the water wasn't freezing. it was gloriously warm!

laughing at crying babies

2011-04-13T10:15:00.004-04:00

i am finally getting around to putting ada's baby announcement in the plymouth newspaper for my mom. i know, i know. she's 3.5 months old and i'm just getting to it. clearly it was low on the priority list, behind, well, everything. but at last it's done. i did enjoy the last few minutes though of laughing hysterically at sweet ada's newborn session. she hated every minute of it, and all the "good" (read non-screaming) pictures were shot in the three seconds before she realized that she wasn't being held or sucking a boob. i cannot thank my brother-in-law ryan enough for being patient and getting whatever he could. can you tell i'm already dreading the 4 month pictures? i'm just going to continue to ignore the fact that we ought to be thinking of making an appointment with a photographer. so not looking forward to it.

crafting

2011-04-11T16:30:00.004-04:00

i'm a serious crafter now. i even purchased a hot glue gun the other day. that means i'm really serious. i made some cute prize carrots (martha stewart's idea of course), which i'm going to hide along with the easter eggs. twisted inside each one is a little trinket or toy. i let finn unravel one early, which was a terrible idea, because i now have to keep them hidden in a high space so that he can't grab another.

a little time to myself

2011-04-11T11:12:00.003-04:00

this morning, i woke up to a car alarm outside our open window. an alarm amplified in annoyance because of the time. it was 7am, about an hour earlier than i prefer to greet the morning, but today i decided to take advantage of that extra hour. i got up, drank a hot cup of coffee, pumped, then took brody on a run. the term "run" here is used very loosely in this instance, as it was more of a sequence of jog, heavily puffing walk, jog, barely moving limp, and so on for a half hour.

i thought that the energy it would take to get these last five pounds off my midsection would be more than i could bare, but i think i'm actually going to enjoy this process. a little time without crying or laundry or "mom, watch this!" followed by some stupid little gesture, which i do find quite adorable. a little time to spend with my first furry child that is often neglected and sometimes completely forgotten about. a little time to breathe in some fresh air and enjoy the newness of spring. a little time to remember not to hate my body, because this is the body that gave me two of the most amazing children. a little time to retrain that slightly flabby body to enjoy moving again. a little time to myself. it's a little bit of time i'll be happy to wake up early for.

first facial hair

2011-03-23T10:14:00.005-04:00

it seems like every day is dress up day. last week, finn found a stick-on "mushmash" (mustache) and wouldn't take it off for the remainder of the day. i had to pull one of those stupid mom lines out and say "no, finn. we have to take it off because the mustache needs a nap too!" i'm always impressed by how dumb kids are when those lines work. i mean that in the nicest possible way. i guess i don't really mind it because i'm kind of a big fan of tom selleck, so the mushmash was reattached following nap.

in other news, i'm exhausted. huge lover of all things spring except daylight savings time. losing 1 hour of my life two weeks ago has unbelievably impacted me. i cannot wake up. what on earth is going on!? but what's great is that the windows are open right now. true, my kids may be a little chilled from the 53 degree temps, but i need fresh air. spending the last 11 weeks in our house for fear of sickness and dirty snow and the very good chance of two epic meltdowns at once has left me a little stir crazy. so we're bringing the outdoors in and occasionally getting our little booties out there as well. WELCOME SPRING! i've been longing for you!

i am in love

2011-03-14T16:42:00.002-04:00

when i turned a year older

2011-03-14T15:18:00.004-04:00

i'm 27. it happened last weekend, but i was too busy being pampered and celebrating to worry about announcing it on here. oh, and that two kids thing. they keep me from doing anything beyond potty training, changing diapers, feeding/nursing, or wiping spit up out of ada's neck creases. yum! anyway, it happened. i graduated into the beautiful age of 27, which feels ridiculously older than 26. i never thought 30 would bother me, but if 27 is hitting me this hard, i'm sure 30 will rock me to my core. there is at least one thing that just gets better with each passing year and that is my awesome, ever-expanding family. they pretty much rock!

i'm pooped.

2011-03-04T12:59:00.007-05:00

we are now on day 3 of project potty training: part 2. after our last attempt and quick return to diapers, i felt defeated and was certain it would be years before we would have successful potty training. yet out of the blue on tuesday, finn decided it was time. he went potty on his frog pot and was ready for the big boy underwear. yikes! i felt so unprepared. i really wanted to read a book about all this or ask my friends what worked best for a little boy, but finn caught me off guard and we were in the trenches before i knew it.

so here we are. day 3. i am exhausted. we've had 4 accidents thus far. i say "we've" because i feel totally responsible for every single one of them. he'll be wiggling and dancing, yet say he doesn't have to go. and i believe him. come on katie, how dumb are you? i guess it's a good thing though, because those few pees down the leg have had a huge impact on him. our only hardship is that finn can hold it. for a long time. and he's not very good at letting it go. he'll be sitting on the potty chair, crying that he has to go but that it just doesn't work. so i read ANOTHER book about poop and run the faucet and success! we're not surrendering this time. oh no sir, my baby boy is all grown up!

a whole new world

2011-02-28T15:20:00.005-05:00

no i'm not referring to the music in disney's aladdin, though now it's taking all my self control to not burst out into song right about now. no, this whole new world is fashion. baby fashion to be precise. there is something to be said about how dull and plain boys clothes are. you've got your simple polo shirts, logo t-shirts, sweaters/sweatshirts, and jeans. go to any store and they are pretty much identical to the ones in every other store. i can spend $5 on a batman tee at target that costs $14.50 at the gap. and walmart has plain colored t's that are only $3 that are crazy expensive at gymboree or even children's place. i am pretty snobby though about finn's jeans, which have to be purchased at old navy or gap. i don't care how much they cost, because boy's got some chunky thighs and stubby legs. i mean that in the most loving way of course.

but girls. oh girls clothes. every where you look, it's like "BAM! BUY ME! I'M RIDICULOUSLY CUTE!" 3 days after ada was born, i was perusing the racks at kohl's and spent more on four outfits than i think i'd spent on finn's clothes for an entire season, maybe even two seasons. for finn, i buy things at the end of the season for the following year when it's so stinkin' cheap. last year, i bought 17 items for less than $50! i know it's going to be the same stuff they will try to sell me next year for 7 times the cost. boys stuff looks pretty much the same year to year. for ada though, i'm afraid to buy too much, because i know next year's stuff is going to be even cuter than before. yet i have already bought too much. girl has a serious stash of clothes for the next year. more than enough for her precious little self to wear in the 3 month span before she grows out of it. but i don't care, because she is going to look fabulous!

not what he expected

2011-02-21T12:27:00.003-05:00

finn is obsessed with animals. overly obsessed. if there were a word stronger than obsessed, it would be defined by how much finn loves animals. at night after prayers, he tells me all the animals that are sleeping in the world. "cows are sleeping. pigs are sleeping. turtles are sleeping..." unfortunately, he knows a lot of animals, so many nights we just shut the door on him as he continues to go through his list of who's already asleep. when we talk of any animal or see them at the zoo, he always says he wants to hold it and ride it, regardless of size or how terrifying it might be. i was certain he would someday become a veterinarian or farmer or just be the crazy cat man who lives with hundreds of cats. oooooh, or that man on animal hoarders that had thousands of pet rats that pooped all over the house and were running all over everything. that could totally be finn in 50 years. or so i thought.

my mom has a little girl in her class who raises cattle, so she invited us over to see the two baby cows that they have. finn was so excited and kept saying all weekend, "i go feed the baby cows now?" well, the time came and suddenly, he didn't want to be anywhere near them. we had to force him to touch the sweet little (taller than finn) babies and he was trembling as we walked toward the fence of the adult cows. yet now, 24 hours later, his recollection of our field trip is a little skewed. he keeps saying, "i touched the cows. i love the baby cows. i want a cow. i ride on a cow." my special boy.

from caveman chic to major geek

2011-02-12T17:25:00.005-05:00

i think i just have bad luck with getting haircuts. no matter what i say to the hairdresser, my hair never turns out exactly as i had envisioned. perhaps it is the fact that they never quite understand what i want. perhaps it is my lack of acceptance that my stringy thin hair will never look lush and thick and gorgeous like those people in the magazines. perhaps it is my inability to understand that those people probably don't roll out bed or spend 3.5 minutes on a "good hair day" to make it look that way. regardless, i feel pretty unlucky in the hair department.

apparently, this luck has fallen on my poor son as well. his last haircut was in october, so it was long overdue. emphasis on long. very long. i asked the woman to take a little off, but to leave it long on top. a little surfer-esque, since we live in the surfing capital of the world and all. well, thing is, he is inherited the same thickness of my hair, and surfer-esque doesn't really work well with thin hair. insert a little temper tantrum that led to him sitting sideways on the chair and a some clipper action to take "a little off the back" and BAM! most of his hair was on the ground. like my mother said upon seeing his after photo, it will grow back.

before

after

looks can be deceiving

2011-02-11T09:08:00.000-05:00

instant coffee. it'll do in a pinch, but definitely looks more delicious than it tastes.

the second

2011-02-10T12:19:00.004-05:00

sweet to cheese progression

2011-02-10T12:15:00.003-05:00

how to exhaust your two year old and yourself

2011-02-10T12:07:00.002-05:00

i think it takes just as much time to get ready to go outside to play in the snow as time spent playing in the snow. on one of the ridiculously cold days last week, we braved the cold in an effort to exhaust finn enough that he would quickly pass out the moment he came inside and sleep the entire afternoon. i definitely felt that way before we even made it out the door. finn excitedly jumped in the ice-topped snow, which completely supported his weight. i kept waiting for him to run across the snow, hit a weak spot, then vanish under the snow. twenty minutes later, the single digit weather hit us all and we scurried back inside, drank hot cocoa, and passed out on the couch. mission accomplished.

happy snow day!

2011-02-03T15:08:00.002-05:00

after too many days of being stuck in our house and secluded from the world, we decided to bundle up, brave the cold, and meet daddy for lunch. finn had to wear his nomer hat, of course. we're not sure what nomer hat means, but finn decided that this faux-fur lined hat was it.

the power of the number 2

2011-01-29T10:57:00.005-05:00

the last few weeks of my life have been ridiculously impacted by the number two. did you know that two is only one more than one? yet when it's children we're discussing an increase in, the impact of adding just one more is substantial. substantial as in completely chewing up my life of order and schedule and anticipation for what is to come next, then spitting out something that is completely disorganized and dirty and often smells of poo. with two, i suddenly have four times the amount of laundry to do, six times the stress, half the sleep, and no time to do anything but hold babies. that anything includes showering, using the restroom, cleaning up anything, and constructing the 2011 calendar that i gave my mom for christmas. that's right folks! it's february, and i'm still trying to get christmas gifts out. god help me...

then there's the second major impact. finn is two years old. full-fledged two. flopping-his-body-on-the-ground two. i-learned-i-have-a-voice two. too-much-energy-for-mommy-to-deal-with-when-sleep-deprived two. in a word, exhausting! i love my little man, but whoo boy! he is busy. and often quite defiant. i'm hoping that it's just a phase. i often tell josh to relax and remember that finn is a two year old, and then forget to remember that myself when i'm in a battle for him to put pants on. ever since ada came, we've been expecting so much of him, but seriously. he's still a baby. a giant baby with giant diapers that he orders me to change. i think we might be ready to really potty train, but again, i barely have time to go to the bathroom myself. god help me...

another 1st

2011-01-21T11:54:00.003-05:00

we've been telling finn that when he turns three, he'll get to go to school. well, the brilliant little bugger that he is figured out that his cousin macy goes to school and she is only two, so off to "school" he went. a church nearby, like 2 minutes away nearby, has a mommy's time out program. i had heard good things and thought it would be a little like sunday school or the mommy group that i go to, with lots of fun things for the kids to do and with lots of little kids happily running around. finn would cheerily run into the room excited to dive in to the toys and crafts and fun.

it didn't go as i dreamt. finn was totally uninterested in going. we packed him up into the car and he just kept saying, "i want to go in my house" and "i don't go to school" and "i play with mommy and daddy." we walked him in and he cried as i signed him in. the room was a little depressing and there were only a couple other little girls there. two hours later, we went to pick him up and i'm pretty sure he is done with going to school for a little while. this morning i asked if he wanted to go back and he quickly replied with an "um.....i go to school when i three. i two."

first torture

2011-01-21T11:45:00.000-05:00

the first bath. i imagined this amazing moment of washing my sweet newborn baby and her playfully splashing in the water, feeling soothed and calmed by the warmth all over her tiny baby body. instead, i'm pretty sure she thought she was being tortured. how dare i strip her down, pour perfectly warm water over her and gently clean the combination spit-up/poop smell off her. she is content with that smell thank you very much.

of course, it could have been big brother dumping water over her face that initially set her off. we'll never know.

i think these two are related

2011-01-21T10:24:00.000-05:00

finn 10 days old

ada 6 days old

photo smile

2011-01-18T18:15:00.003-05:00

somewhere in the last two months, finn's smile has gone from the most adorable, genuine grin to cheese face. when i come near with a camera or my phone because he is just being so stinking adorable, he immediately shifts his natural smile to "cheeeeeeeeeeese"! what can i say, he knows how to strike a pose.

a little introduction

2011-01-06T20:31:00.005-05:00

on december 30th, 2010, we welcomed our sweet little girl, adelaide marjorie mcdowell. we're going to call her ada for short. she was 8 pounds 8 ounces and 21.5 inches, just a little bit bigger than her older brother was at birth. looking at her now, i can't remember finn ever being that tiny. she is just amazing. calm in fact. i honestly could not have asked for a more perfect newborn to join our family. she eats, sleeps, poops, and sleeps some more. while the hours of 11pm until 6am aren't necessarily the most enjoyable times, i do get a large chunk of sleep with a baby perched upon my chest. i would definitely prefer to get an unencumbered eight hours of sleep, but i can't be picky. i have a baby that sleeps a lot and a 2 year old that sleeps in. when he doesn't sleep in, he still has this crazy idea in his mind that he can't leave the confines of his bed. fantastic! these adventures in having two children are exciting.

the birth story

2011-01-06T09:22:00.003-05:00

if this birth didn't teach me that things will work out the way God wants them to work out, then i'm not sure i'll ever learn that lesson. this was an amazing experience, but dang was it tough.

the back story leading up to the day:
from the moment that i found out i was pregnant, i knew that i wanted to try to have a vaginal birth and forgo having another cesarean. after all the pep talks and reassurances from the doctor that this was a great plan, we found out that the copay on a hospital stay would go up $900 at the beginning of the new year. i also found out that the baby was measuring 1-2 weeks ahead of schedule, meaning he/she was big. i started to get nervous that if i waited til the end, i wouldn't be able to have a vaginal birth regardless of how hard i tried. plus, i didn't want to spend more money to have a c-section than i had to. i know. it's pretty ridiculous that i'm monetizing the birth of my second child. so two weeks before my due date, i scheduled a c-section for december 31st; the perfect low copay tax-deduction baby would arrive new years eve. but honestly, i prayed daily that God would start contractions early and i would have this baby early.

the actual story of the day:
i woke up at 4am on december 30th to a contraction. no big deal since i've been having them for months. then about 15 minutes later, i woke up again. this happened over and over until about 6:30 when i thought it was a good idea to start timing them. i got up, showered, and had contractions every 8-10 minutes. this continued for about 3 hours, when they started getting down to 5-6 minutes apart. i insisted we get lunch before i called the doctor, because honestly, i just wanted to eat before they told me that i couldn't. i called in after lunch, when contractions were 3-4 minutes apart, and ended up going to the doctor. the doctor said that i was 3-4 cm and head to the hospital immediately. the day before i was at zero centimeters and the doctor told me that things were not going to progress quick enough and i would be having a c-section, so i was pumped to say the least.

at 4pm, we arrived at the hospital and got hooked up. she broke my water, and i immediately went to 8cm. oh, and i got the epidural. fantastic decision. for the next 3 hours, we peacefully waited and waited and waited until i finally progressed to 10cm. i almost didn't believe the doctor that it was time because she was unbelievably calm and patient, a trait i would appreciate immensely later.

time to push. and push. and push. and push. i wasn't making a ton of progress, so dr. haab got the vacuum out and suctioned the baby over my lower vertebrae. apparently, my lowest vertebrae tilt inward, which makes it nearly impossible for a baby's head to get out unaided. which is why finn couldn't make it out and i ended up with a c-section the last time. needless to say, i was a little depressed when the doctor said that there was a very good chance this wouldn't work and that i would be wheeled into the o.r. in the next few minutes. but i just kept pushing. and pushing. and pushing. i looked down at one point and thought the doctor might just climb into my vagina completely. it was not fun. so not fun.

but after two hours, we were as close as close could be. after two hours of pushing, i was exhausted and just wanted him/her out. i now understand why women scream so much once they get that close to the end. it's painful. they had kept the epidural on the lowest dose so i could feel as much as possible, but i didn't want to feel as much as possible any longer. after a disgusting episiotomy that i watched in mirror (yugghh), three contractions and lots of shrieking later, SHE was born. our perfect little girl.

two days later, we named that little girl adelaide marjorie and now i can't imagine our lives without her.

2010-12-25T15:07:00.000-05:00

overcompensating much?

2010-12-24T11:33:00.007-05:00

when you have a child with a birthday close to christmas, you immediately begin to feel guilty that they won't feel special enough or get enough presents or feel like they truly got their day. at least that's how i feel. which is fantastic, because i'll soon have two children to make me feel guilty. to add to the original guilt, i felt terrible for finn, because i am exhausted. too exhausted to have an amazing party for him with all his little friends. so instead, we had many little mini parties and have sang happy birthday enough times that he just assumes it's his anthem. he also expects candles on everything. or just "FIRE" as he likes to refer to it, which is adorable in itself, because he expects the firetruck to come when the candles come out. oh sweet innocence!

first party was with nonny and hoppy, which included pizza and a cupcake covered in enough icing to, well, induce a major melt-down only 30 minutes later when the sugar hit his tired brain and overloaded all of his circuits. luckily, we were at the jumpy house place and most of the mono-saccharides were burned off quickly.

next up, on his actual birthday, he got cinnamon rolls for breakfast, which he now expects often. i crave them, so his expectations are met pretty often as well. that night, we had a mini pizza party with mim and papa, cousins, and aunts and uncles. he opened a few presents and relaxed a little. pretty low-key and fantastic!

the next day, we had the van vactor family christmas, highlighted with an intermission of finn's yo-gabba-gabbafied 2nd birthday party. this was probably the most birthday-party-like moment he got to experience. we had cake, a piñata, and a special visit from santa. okay, that was for the christmas party, but finn felt pretty special that santa came to his birthday party.

then, we were done. wait. remember that guilt? i bought more cupcakes with overwhelming amounts of icing, and finn and his friend joey exchanged gifts at chick-fil-a (joey is two weeks younger and has been a friend since birth).

needless to say, finn got his moments. i just can't believe he's already two. i just need to take a moment and soak it all in before all of our lives change drastically in a few days. my sweet little babe is going to be a big brother. ridiculous...

merry

2010-12-20T15:32:00.001-05:00

i'm definitely in the christmas spirit. wrapping is one of my absolute favorite things to do. i wish i could make a profession out of it and get paid lots of money for wrapping other people's presents.

genetic curse

2010-12-20T10:32:00.003-05:00

me: check out that butt crack
josh: that's the van vactor in him
me: well, at least my genes carried on

here's hoping the next one doesn't inherit this amazing trait of a ridiculously high butt crack. or have no earlobes like my dad and brother jeff. we're a strange people.

there's a few things you've missed

2010-12-19T12:44:00.007-05:00

the last few weeks have been crazy and i feel like any free moment that i have is spent with me lying in bed sleeping or trying to sleep through contractions. that's right folks. contractions. all the time. it doesn't help when the doctor says, "you could go any day," because then any day feels like it could be the day. the one that i've been waiting for over 38 weeks for. but so far, the day has not arrived, so we keep filling the days with lots and lots of other things.

thanksgiving dinner

girls shopping weekend in schaumburg
(tenley was very excited!)

a purdue game with the allens
(with amazing free seats in the pit behind the team)

lots of fun moments and dinners out with finn

breakfast with santa
and both sets of grandparents

christmas show (we made it about 15 minutes
then went outside and played in the snow)

smartest kid i know

2010-12-18T13:33:00.003-05:00

i told finn a couple minutes ago that he wasn't allowed to sit or stand on his lego table to play with his cars on the window sill and that he had to sit on his chair. ingenious little man that he is - he came up with a solution that he thought would appease us both. i have to give him credit.

oh boy!

2010-11-22T14:19:00.001-05:00

i always knew finn would become a boy. a true little boy who digs in the dirt and climbs on top of everything to experience the rush of being two feet off the ground and carries sticks all over the park for no other reason than to always have a weapon in hand. just in case.

33 weeks

2010-11-21T22:59:00.004-05:00

after a few crazy strangers told me this mystery-sex baby was definitely a girl, i was beginning to believe that there was no way this child could possibly be a boy. if you hadn't heard, there was a woman at the pharmacy who stood behind me to pat my love handles (never getting close to my belly) and was then very certain that it was a girl i was carrying. and she never gets these things wrong. never ever. then there was the lady at the park who wouldn't take the "maybe you're right" response i gave her and huffed off as if i truly offended her gender guessing skills.

but alas! i have finally found a crazy stranger who thinks that it is definitely a boy. she came up and proudly proclaimed within seconds that i was in fact carrying a boy. when i told her that i'd had a lot of girl predictions, she simply stated, "it's a boy. you don't got no booty." apparently, you have to have a little caboose to harbor the female gender. sorry tall skinny ladies of the world, we're strictly here to make boys. glad to get that lesson before i got my hopes up. and i have to trust this crazy stranger over all the rest, because didn't you know? she is never wrong.

giving thanks

2010-11-21T12:43:00.002-05:00

i wrote a thanksgiving entry for our church's blog. check it out here if you feel the desire to know what i'm thankful for this year! it's basically a repetition of the words "thankful" and "grateful" for an extended amount of time. enjoy!

i'm hormonal and it's the holidays

2010-11-17T16:58:00.006-05:00

there have been a few moments in the last couple days where i'm pretty sure people have run away fearing for their lives. by people, i mean my husband, my son, and anyone in the general vicinity when i suddenly realize that i'm only 7- weeks away from delivering a child. a person. another person. you want to know why i thought this was a good idea 8 months ago? because finn was easy and sweet and calm then. you want to know why i'm panicking a little now? because finn is not so easy and is still generally sweet and calm is not even a word i would pick 1,483rd to describe him. in fact, i would say that finn is the antonym to calm.

but here we are. 7 weeks from d-day. or less, depending on what the ultrasound says of the size of this child. judging from the fact that i sometimes lose my breath climbing stairs or picking up finn or god forbid just standing up, or the fact i feel full after eating a saltine and a slice of cheese (don't worry, the fullness doesn't stop me), i would say this baby nugget is big!

really though, i can't wait. but i also i want to be able to enjoy every last moment of finn being an only child. i want to relax over the holiday season and have a no-stress thanksgiving and christmas with all my amazing family members and friends. i am so looking forward to finn turning two and celebrating all gabba gabba-ed out. i am excited to wrap presents and give presents. it's one of my most favorite things of the year. i'm so happy that my family actually likes my cooking enough to request that i bring a particular dish. i cannot wait for the christmas music to blare throughout this house and lift my spirits and remind me that my Christ was born into this world.

i'm trying to remember these upcoming good things and what i can't wait for instead of stressing about the lack of time and the sickness invading our home and the fact that i can't sleep for 3 hours straight without waking up with leg cramps and an inability to breathe and needing to pee. i'm trying to remember that any stress that i have these next 7 weeks will lead up to the amazing experience of becoming a mom for a second time. i'm trying to remember that i have an awesome network of people who care and are going to take as much stress off me as they can (thanks kathy for the hired help for the yardwork and watching finn when i just need a break. thanks mom and alyssa for listening to me rant about how there is never enough time in the day). i'm trying to get into the holiday spirit. with a little help of course from pumpkin spice lattes and kenny g.

long overdue update

2010-11-15T14:38:00.005-05:00

one night about two months ago, september 21st to be specific, finn told us that he was done with his crib and wanted to sleep in the big boy bed. and that. was. that. ever since, he has been sleeping well and staying in his bed/room all night long without any sadness or insecurity. okay, maybe i should scratch the part about sadness. he will sit and cry himself to sleep, but (and this is a very important but) he won't ever leave his bed. fantastic! i was expecting an all-out war, where we had to tie him down and put a lock on his door from the outside, but nope. this kid is just too easy when it comes to two things, eating and sleeping. hope baby number 2 takes after his/her big brother!

tiny joy!

2010-11-12T11:39:00.004-05:00

there has been far too much going on recently, and i realized that i neglected to introduce you to someone. a delayed welcome to the world, tenley anne. my new niece who is just the cutest little bundle of joy you could imagine.

oh mudge!

2010-11-01T10:54:00.004-04:00

my life, no the entire world, lost a very special lady yesterday. my grandma mudgie chose creepy halloween of all days to say goodbye to this world and go live with jesus, her husband and two of her kids. let me tell you, i have been so blessed in my life to have such amazing female role models, and this lady was one of the best.

she taught me a lot about discipline, like when she yelled, "kids, go outside and...and... run around in circles!" when my 15 cousins and myself were rough-housing in the living room. the same living room which held her extensive collection of ceramic angels. so i guess she taught me a lot about trust and patience, too!

she taught me that when in a pickle, buy in bulk. every christmas, my cousin sarah and i were receive the same matching outfit since we were close in age. i already mentioned the total of 16 grandkids. mudgie was too busy to deal with 16 different gifts! she gave the same gift with no remorse. and we ended up loving receiving the same gift (and loving the pictures of us dressed alike).

she taught me that family is important, like when she and my grandpa let my family move into their house when we first moved back to plymouth. without question, they gave up their space. she loved her family. and feeding that family is most important of all. i will never be a grandma mudgie type of cook. i know it's in my dna, but i just haven't found it yet. no one will ever made a dinner roll like she does. i know, it's a dinner roll, but i think it's the love she put in it that made it better than any others!

she showed me what a strong, christian, selfless, loving woman and mother looks like. i will forever be grateful for her.

and to answer your question, i will not be naming this child mudge if it is a little girl. there's only one lady who could carry off that name and she was my grandmother.

2010-10-22T11:34:00.000-04:00

a quick surrender

2010-10-18T13:02:00.003-04:00

after 4.5 hours of project potty training, we are waving the white flag and surrendering. i should have known it wasn't time when finn started to cry when he did in fact potty on the toilet this morning. i'm not sure what scared him, but the maniacal mixture of cries and laughter that was coming from his tiny body wasn't exactly what i pictured after our first successful potty. the final clue came when i asked him to put his underwear (pull-up) back on and he said, "no. i wear a baby diaper." um. i think we're done for now.

lions and tigers and dragons, oh my!

2010-10-18T09:27:00.009-04:00

in attempts to get alyssa's contractions started again and let the first-borns enjoy every moment of this beautiful fall weekend, we had a jam-packed weekend of festivities. on saturday, we took the kids to the indianapolis zoo for the annual zooboo. basically, kids dress up in their halloween garb, look cute, get candy, and run around looking at the animals. it was adorable. and for once in my entire life, i was at the zoo when it wasn't 110 degrees and the animals were actually doing something other than sleeping. amazing, i know. who knew the zoo actually had moving, playing, noisy happy animals? i'm so used to the depressed, sweaty ones, but awake ones...blew our minds.

next up, pizza. i know. does not relate to fall in the slightest, but it was delicious. and then i realized finn and i had eaten pizza 3 of the last 4 nights. now if i ask what he wants to eat, he says pizza. mom of the year right here!

sunday. more fall festivities. we headed to the pumpkin patch for our annual picture taking session. seriously, i think i shouted, "finn, look at mommy! finn, say cheese! finn, no no no!" about 400 times. it was so much fun, especially because sweet baby finn rode on a pony like a champ. a live pony. and he didn't get scared. i nearly peed myself in excitement, though that could also be due to the large baby that presses on my bladder constantly. he still talks about simon the horse, and expects at all moments that i will take him there for another ride.

i highly recommend taking advantage of these beautiful fall days!

i may be crazy

2010-10-18T08:42:00.002-04:00

i went to target last night for the sole purpose of buying some pull-ups. i know. what on earth was i thinking? after many many many many attempts at dissuading sir finn and telling him that he most certainly did not want to go on the potty, i'm giving in. at his little sweet 22 months old, we're going to give it a go and attempt potty training. part of me thinks we'll end the week with him totally uninterested in the potty and me totally okay with it, but there's always that chance that he is in fact ready and that our bank account will in fact be larger by each passing week (until the next set of diapering begins of course). it's crazy, right? he's still my little baby monkey.

thing is, i don't really even know what to do. pray for me. this is going to be one hell of a challenge.

google side note: while researching potty training, one site recommended that i teach my child to say the word 'eliminate' in place of 'pee, potty or poop' lest i want him to be a heathen and use such improper language. forgive me friends, this kid of mine will be saying poop and i'll be so dang proud!

book nerd

2010-10-17T16:50:00.003-04:00

when finn went to bed the other night and was quiet, we thought, "whew! he finally has quit the crying and just accepts that he has to sleep at night." about 20 minutes later, i turned on the video monitor to find that he had fallen asleep while reading and the book was perched carefully across his face. he doesn't get it from me, but seriously. how cute!

gabba-fied

2010-10-15T09:55:00.006-04:00

before i had finn, i had this pretentious idea that i would never let my child watch television. never ever ever! that quickly changed when finn was introduced at a very young age to the world of yo gabba gabba dvd's by i'm not sure who. one day, he just woke up and had the videos at his disposal and the rest is history. his occasional watching for a couple seconds while playing turned into "i neeeeeeeeeed muno" and he would sit with his full attention on the gang. naturally, when i heard they were coming through indy for a yo gabba gabba live show, i knew we had to be there.

after months of preparing to go with my sister-in-law and niece, there was a slight last minute change of plans due to the two-week long laboring of her second child that she's been a little preoccupied with. seriously little girl, just come out already. her substitute, brother jeff, was amazingly excited and looked at home in the crowd of mostly moms with their awkward/bored-looking husbands. anyway, finn loved it. he barely smiled the entire time, but the mouth open stare definitely made me think he was in awe of the whole thing.

biz markee was there with his "beat of the day"! finn could care less!

see! jeff's ridiculously excited!

poop talk

2010-10-12T13:05:00.002-04:00

if you are one of those people, like my brother jeff, who does not like to hear any mention of the fact that people produce farts or god forbid poop, then discontinue reading. also, suck it up. everyone poops and it's weird that you get so disgusted.

anyway, there are many things that people don't tell you about motherhood, i think mostly to ensure that people continue to procreate. one of those things is that you never get another moment of private pooping. the second finn hears the fan turn on in the bathroom, he'll scream, "i'm coming." lovely. i was wondering where my audience was. i was hoping that instead of having 2 minutes to myself that i would get someone to narrate what was going on and discuss with me that i was stinky, yucky, poopy, etc.

luckily for me, this isn't happening too often, because people don't tell you certain things about pregnancy either. again, this is to ensure that women continue to procreate. when you realize that you haven't pooped in four days, suddenly pooping with a two-year-old audience doesn't seem so bad.

all this information about pooping has only arisen because of my sweet little finn. he has an appointment with a specialist in two months, but before we go, we have to have an adominal x-ray done to ensure that he doesn't have bowel obstruction and/or chronic constipation. apparently it's protocol before seeing a pediatric urologist. i literally laughed when they told me this, because seriously, it's like clockwork. if he doesn't poop immediately when he wakes up, i am fearful for the rest of the day, knowing it could occur at any second. then he likes to surprise me every once in a while with an extra poop, just for the fun of it. my favorite poop moment yet happened today, which just so coincided with me feeling backed up and poop-depressed. in the middle of babies r us, picking out which potty seat he wanted, he sat down pants and diaper intact, made one grunt, and exclaimed, "i pooped on the potty." he mocks me with how easy it is.

house guest!

2010-10-04T20:37:00.002-04:00

it is beyond easy to tell that finn is thoroughly enjoying the fact that his uncle josh has moved into the mcdowell manor for the next week, month, or year. we're still not completely clear on the duration. either way, every time we leave the house, finn says he wants to go back to "our house PLAY WITH JOSH." and then he annoyingly pesters josh to let him watch animal shows on his computer. this shot was taken over josh's computer screen as finn giggled hysterically at foxes jumping on a trampoline. youtube it. it's the highlight of finn's night, perhaps his entire life.

and yes. it is completely confusing for everyone involved when i yell for josh. they both shout back and then i remember i have to use last names in my own house. a small price to pay to spend so much fun time with my little brother. maybe i should just say fun time and leave off the so much part, because at this point, we only spend the evenings together. he has this knack for waking up at 4pm. oh the joys of being single, young, and employed by online poker.

delayed appreciation

2010-10-04T09:43:00.003-04:00

imagine those flowers weren't dead and that those starbucks cards had two other friends and hadn't been mostly used by now, and you would see how ridiculously sweet my mother is. after having a rough couple days, she surprised me with flowers in a cute fall mug. then a week later, surprised me with loads of pumpkin spice latte money! i could not have a more thoughtful mom.

the little things in life

2010-09-28T11:50:00.002-04:00

i'm not sure what fascinates little boys (and grown men) with machines and trucks and buses and boats, but finn is fascinated. women just aren't wired the same i guess. boys though, it's in their dna to want to crash cars and play with trains and drive a bulldozer. step one though to driving construction equipment is riding public transportation. the moment finn woke up, i asked if he would want to take the city bus to visit daddy on campus, and for the next 3 hours, he asked what time the bus would pick us up and if it was the yellow bus or the blue bus. very important information in his little 21 month old mind.

we walked to the bus stop, hopped on board and he was stunned for the entire 27 minute trip. he narrated the entire thing, telling me when people got on and off, what the driver was doing, that there were other cars on the road, that he was having a happy day, that he was sitting in a blue seat on a blue bus! he was fascinated. utterly impressed. i'm glad that a free trip on the bus can completely blow his toddler mind, though now i fear the constant question, "mommy finn go ride on the blue bus?"

cosby!

2010-09-27T13:09:00.000-04:00

i don't know if it was the extreme generational gap (bill cosby is now 73!) or the fact that his jokes were oddly reminiscent of how my dad tells stories, but days later i still don't quite understand the cosby comedy tour. looking around at the crowd of baby-boomers-parents and hearing their slightly maniacal laughter at literally every word that cosby slurred, i felt like i shouldn't have been in the 5th row of an auditorium with 6,000 other people, but instead have been swinging on his front porch listening to the far-too-long stories of the past while drinking a sweet tea after our early bird dinner. it really was an only need to see once experience for me, especially because i envision the same random story telling occurring around the dinner table when my dad hits 75 or 80 and tells us all about the life he's lived. what it boils down to is bill cosby is basically my dad.

indulgence or wishing a happy fall

2010-09-22T14:38:00.002-04:00

when the temperature dropped below 75 on saturday, i pretended it was fall and drank a grande, non-fat, half-caff pumpkin spice latte. now that it is officially fall though, i may need to talk to josh about increasing our weekly latte budget from non-existent to $33.32, the exact cost of getting this daily mid-morning treat. happy fall to all!

farewell to summer

2010-09-22T14:35:00.006-04:00

on monday, we forewent going to the apple orchard in lieu of something more summery to celebrate the season's last few joyous days. indeed, it was summer. after leaving the zoo, my sister-in-law alyssa called to tell me that her thermometer in her van read 90. the jeep's said 87, so apparently it's a lot hotter in her chrysler town and country. just another thing to add to the con list of getting a mini van.

finn loved it. it being the zoo, not the van, though he loves its dvd player immensely. he talks constantly about the animals and of wanting to see the ostrich, elephant, giraffe, hippo, and ... the list could go on forever. this boy knows animals. it's crazy. it's like his vocabulary went from 10 words total to including every species of mammal in two months flat. so now, when he wakes up in the morning and after his nap, he lists the animals that he wishes he could see and then cries out for aunt "syssa" to come get him to take him to the zoo. thanks for letting us in as your guests! love a free zoo trip!

pre-zoo, we got a visit from aunt diane, one of indianapolis' finest. macy and finn gave her a double-take when she walked in uniform-clad and gun in holster. sweet little macy kept saying, "you look different." let's just say that she is the most unintimidating woman in the world when attired in her normal fashion-forward clothing and accessories, but man, you give her a walky talky and a gun and she means business. i laugh just thinking of her yelling at bad guys and throwing them to the ground. she's a woman of many hats, none of which you can see in this photo. she the one with her hand on the steering wheel. thanks for taking time out of your busy day to visit!

little josh

2010-09-17T13:38:00.003-04:00

finn has suddenly taken notice that his clothes change every day and that perhaps he could have a say in his clothing choices. this morning, that meant spending 9:30-10:30 sitting in his bedroom while he went through his clothes and told me why he wasn't going to wear said shirt or pants. finally, at 10:30, i had had enough. seriously finn, i got ready in about 15 minutes including shower just to race into your room where you make me wait. i wrestled him to the ground and put on his choices while he screamed and explained that i was mean and he wanted something else. what that something else was, i don't completely know, because he now has a sweet little high-pitched screech that he has introduced into his angry vocabulary. i believe he said something like, "EEEEK! i AHHHH wear shorts doggy BLLLLLEEEECCCCHHHH shirt blue." it's the perfect way to start each morning.

in case you were wondering about the title, no, i do not deal with josh doing this every morning, whining about what he is going to wear for over an hour until i wrestle him and force him into putting something on. it has to do with the attire that finn finally decided on that i then had to wrestle him into. if he wants to wear jeans, he says, "daddy pants." if he wants to wear a plaid shirt, "daddy shirt." apparently, if he wants to roll the sleeves up on that plaid shirt, code word is "daddy's arms." with the "daddy shoes" in place, he is officially a little josh now. uh, josh, do you think you need to spice up your wardrobe a little when even your son expects you to wear tshirts, plaid button-ups, and jeans? hmmmm.

winner winner chicken dinner

2010-09-16T21:52:00.003-04:00

please ignore the wrinkled napkin and placemat which are in desperate need of ironing and be in awe of the fact that we had homemade chicken curry tonight. it may have caused extreme amounts of heartburn that 4 tums and 1 zantac had to be involved, but it was magnificent. if it weren't for the smell that lingers in the kitchen for the next 2+ weeks, i would most definitely be cooking indian food every night of the week. that, and finn nearly had a seizure at the taste of it, contorting his face and squirming for a good 10 seconds. peanut butter and jelly for him and all-i-can-eat curry for me. perfection.

23 weeks

2010-09-13T16:00:00.004-04:00

16 and 1/2 weeks remain until this little nugget/baby bird is welcomed into the world. i feel badly calling it a nugget if it turns out to be a baby girl, because that just doesn't sound very delicate and we'll probably have caused her a complex before she is born. as i get each week closer and closer, which seems to be moving at record-breakingly slow speeds, i get the aching (in a good way) feeling that we might be welcoming a little lady into our homestead. at first, i was heartbroken to think that was an option, but i'm getting more excited with each passing day that finn would have a sister to watch out for the rest of his life. as always though, i am not going to get fixed on the idea of pink and sugarplums invading our overwhelmingly testosterone-driven toy room/baby room/kids' bathroom/world. if it's a boy, this crazy fighting, kicking, screaming, throwing, rumble-tumble life will just continue. i'm excited about that option, too.

yesterday, i asked finn if he wanted a baby boy or baby girl and for the first time, he didn't just say no. while he wouldn't make a choice and declare his desire for this baby, this is major progress. he coyly said it was his baby. i'm excited he's beginning to get interested.

and then it was a fall.

2010-09-10T08:34:00.000-04:00

even though the meteorologists are forecasting warmer weather in the near future, i got a taste of fall. the most joyous time of the year! i get to wear scarves and sweaters and bundle up as the leaves start to turn and there is a crispness in the air that makes me want to drink pumpkin spice lattes all day long. thank you weather for making the first football game of the season feel like it belonged in football season. no thank you dad for making us drive up to south bend with the top down on the mustang.

lay off his junk!

2010-09-09T17:56:00.006-04:00

these last couple days have been so exhausting. i went to bed last night at 10:15 with the lights on and glasses still on my face. when josh came home from his late night of work at 3am, he gently took my glasses off and i suddenly remembered what i was going to do at 10:15 the moment before i just closed my eyes for. just. one. second. i was going to check on my sweet baby boy and take his temperature. because my sweet baby boy has been sick, but we're not sure with what. that kills me, because i'm a person that needs an answer. there has to be answer, so let's just find that answer doctors and nurses and phlebotomists.

it all started about two weeks ago when finn was complaining about pain, which i thought was just because he learned the word "hurts." i figured it was just his new vocabulary that he was practicing. "mommy, it hurts." then he would run and play. but after a week, he was still saying it very specifically so we took him in to see the doctor. he couldn't figure out what was causing the pain, so he needed to get a urine sample. from a baby. which means catheter. it was the most horrible little thing i've witnessed my little man having to go through, and i spent the majority of the afternoon crying that i let them do that to him. worst of all, they didn't even get a sample, so they sent me home with no answers.

fast forward to monday, and finn started getting a fever, which always happens to coincide with a weekend and/or holiday when the doctors are out. why is that? well, we waited until wednesday to take him in, and they found that his temperature has gotten to 103.5, so they wanted another urine sample. NOT AGAIN! they spent 15 minutes trying to no avail again, all the while finn said, "mommy, this hurts" and "i all done" and "i don't like the doctor." i wanted to punch the nurse when she said, "wow he talks really well for his age." then i would have screamed at her, "GET THE DAMN SAMPLE AND GET OUT OF HIS JUNK," but i was too busy consoling finn and telling him we would eat mounds of ice cream and sleep in my bed all night while watching movies. they ended up getting a sample another way with negative results of infection, so we had to do a blood sample. guess what? negative results of infection. on one hand, it's a good thing, but on another hand, what is wrong with my baby?

i was instructed to keep an eye on him, as though i wouldn't, and monitor his fever, as if i wouldn't. also, to call if he has breathing problems, doesn't eat and drink for a day, or lays around not wanting to get up. who are these dumb parents who aren't doing these things when their kids are sick? anyways, i'm sad for baby finn. but he's not too sad. he's playing like nothing is wrong, with a fever of 101.8 today. oh brother! hopefully it just goes away tonight and he'll be fine forever more! no more germs allowed in this house please!

looks sick huh? he was actually screaming "i play with toys" while i was trying to wrangle him for a picture with me.

touch my belly!

2010-08-31T10:06:00.004-04:00

yesterday on our nightly walk, we passed by a couple neighbors we hadn't met yet, and the woman asked me when i was due! finally! people are confident enough that i'm pregnant to ask. the last few weeks i've been almost there, but it's official people. i look pregnant!

i'm over halfway there. i cannot believe it. i feel like i'm so unprepared to have two. finn makes sure to show me daily that i already have my hands full with just him, so i will have quite the adventure when i'm trying to get him to stop jumping off the side of his chair (which he doing right now) while breastfeeding a newborn and trying not to lift over 20 pounds (yeah right) and keeping the house a little bit clean and getting finn to stop dialing on the phone and changing double the poopy diapers and washing all those poopy baby clothes and pumping and trying to take a quick nap and ... i wish i were an elephant. they have a 22 month pregnancy, so i would still have a long long way to go and more time to worry about how this whole mom-of-two thing works.

but i need to stop getting ahead of myself. i'm pregnant. with an amazing little creation. while the pregnancy itself has made me feel pretty disgusting, the last 4 weeks have momentously made up for them. this kid has been bumping and kicking and what feels like surfing from one side to the other. i will never get tired of this. it's a daily reminder that the vomiting and headaches and backaches and constipation are completely worth it, and that in 18 short weeks, there will be another new person on this planet. a person that i really hope looks a lot like finn. because come on, he's pretty awesome!

sir brody of west lafayette-ington

2010-08-31T10:01:00.004-04:00

when i imagine brody talking, which i do often, i am certain he would have a british accent and look down his nose at us. he would probably wear spectacles and say things like, "please do not bother me" and "let me rest and i'll tell you when i'm ready to go outside." then he would sit and sun himself and discuss poetry with his other snooty british dog friends.

and then i gained 10 iq points.

2010-08-26T18:39:00.004-04:00

today, i'm introducing smart katie. i picked up my glasses today with the full intention of them being work-only glasses. the only time i noticed my poor eyesight was looking up from the computer screen in the artificial (terrible) lighting cloud that is cvs and taking 4.68 seconds for my eyes to barely focus on the person in front of me. other than that, i had no inkling that my eyes were failing me. until today. on the way home from the doctor's, i placed them on my face and bam! did you all know that trees have LEAVES? there is a sudden definition in my world that i hadn't noticed was missing in the last year of my life. so now my work-only glasses may turn into all-the-time glasses and i'll have a new obsession of purchasing many fancy and distinct pairs.

also of note. i just happened to have chosen a near identical pair to my husband's, which just makes us look more like one another. hey, that's what couples are supposed to do, right? FANTASTIC!

to live in a magazine

2010-08-23T16:04:00.003-04:00

i don't know if everyone feels this way, but i always have this lingering feeling like i'm living two lives. there's the one that's in my head, and then the other one. the one i'm actually living. the first one i can see a glimpse of every time my kitchen is spotless and finn runs around the corner (completely clothed) screaming "lub you" and arms wide for a hug. i can almost taste it when i've just crossed off the last thing off my daily to-do list and exhale with utter satisfaction. i feel like i'm just around the corner from it when i see a magazine cover with the words "5-ingredient meals for busy weeknights" and think to myself that i could be an amazing wife and cook amazing healthy food every night thanks to this plan. then the real-life living creeps in.

you see, finn is never fully and cleanly clothed and usually is only screaming for hugs and "lub you"s because he just smacked me across the face or wants another vitamin. and the moment my to-dos get finished...who am i kidding. i just woke up from a two hour unplanned nap after i sat down to look at my to-do list for the day. oh and the cooking. that magazine, bon appetit, it makes me think that i can do it all. until i open to the article and realize that the whole thing is a lie. it isn't 5-ingredient meals, but instead 5-ingredient recipes for sides, main courses, and desserts. sure, i admit that i am a little sick of my signature pasta and texas toast "recipe", but i'm not sure if i'm going to replace it with "watermelon granitas with gingered strawberries" (which only take 4 and 1/2 hours), "pistachio-crusted tofu with ponzu sauce" (no idea what ponzu is), and "warm baked apples with cranberry-caramel sauce." the last one does sound so amazing, but i guess i forgot to stock up on my heavy whipping cream tonight.

this isn't a post of my sob story for the day. it's just a post of realization. i woke up from my amazingly refreshing two hour nap to the sound of finn screaming my name and couldn't be happier. i may have tripped over his toys and knocked a pile of mail onto the dirty floor on my way to get him, but he seems perfectly content to live in this house. mess and pasta dinners and all, he continues to want me to play with him. and if i'm extremely lucky, he'll give me kisses before he smacks me in the chin or screams "I AM MAD" when i ask him why he's crying. but i'll take them afterwards, too. i wonder if my fantasy life even exists or if it is just on the well-planned magazine covers. i shall try, minus the ponzu sauce and watermelon granitas. i know that is never going to happen on a monday night.

overly everything

2010-08-18T17:10:00.004-04:00

i think it's probably the pregnancy hormones (i blame everything on them), but yesterday watching all the moms and dads drop their kids off at the first day of school overwhelmed me with a flood of emotions that i still am not quite understanding. friends from work had said, "just wait, you'll get crazy emotional when finn goes to kindergarten" and i assured them they were 100 percent wrong. i am just not that type of mom. from the emotional response today however, i am certain that i will be the woman crying many tears as my finn turns his back and runs into school with no regard to my feelings. if i'm pregnant when that happens, which is highly unlikely, oh boy, i'll be the crazy lady being dragged out by elementary school security screaming "MY BABY! MY BABY! MY SWEET LITTLE BABY!" because i was nearly there today. looking at my sweet 20-month old and imagining how completely happy he'll be to leave me and enter the great big world of school. i am so thankful i have 4 years before this madness is reality. until then, i'll take photos of him in the outfit of his choice (boots and all) with his backpack as i drop him off at his nonny's while i go to work. that's all the emotional inner turmoil i can take today.

he knows everything

2010-08-16T10:07:00.002-04:00

josh has this uncanny ability to start believing something before he has even finished making up the story/definition/situation/whatever. he will start with an "i think" and end with "no, this really happened." example: a conversation we had a couple days ago.

me: what's an astigmatism?
him: well. um. i think it is when your eye wanders off the side. maybe.
me: i don't think so. isn't it a curve in the eye that makes things blurry?
him: no, that's not it. it's a lazy eye. (said very matter of factly)
me: well, the doctor said i have an astigmatism in both eyes.
him: um....
(long pause)
him: wow, you have two lazy eyes?
(long pause)
(me laughing hysterically)

ugh. instead of him saying, "i must be wrong," i became a person with two lazy eyes. i'm not sure what that would look like, but i'm pretty sure my eyes are usually going in the right direction and i just have blurry vision.

as promised

2010-08-05T21:58:00.005-04:00

needless to say from the lack of documentation, finn has been very busy this summer. here are a few of my favorite photos from the many adventures we've had so far.

this sucks!

2010-07-29T18:39:00.003-04:00

i've been gone from this blog for a while. for good reason though. i hate pregnancy and don't know what else to talk about. i'm already 20 pounds up, my back hurts, i get headaches every day, my vagina feels like it is already opening for a baby to drop out, i just look fat not pregnant, and i'm sweaty and shiny all the time. boo. what part of this is fun? i thought God cursed eve by making labor painful, not the entire pregnancy.

good news. i am living through this and at the end a baby awaits. i'm hoping that i start to feel less obese and more pregnant. i started working out more. by more, i mean once a week, but it is progress. i'm also somewhat focused on eating better. i think my diet of crap and mcdonalds and lard has probably helped the process of weight gain, so fruits and veggies, here i come.

i'm done whining. i love you all and i'll post cute pictures of finn soon, so you won't be so depressed by my sad sad life that i am projecting here.

it's not always giggles and kisses

2010-07-21T10:45:00.003-04:00

i have been having such a fun time with finn in the last couple weeks, my sweet little man that is growing into such an independent little person that makes me laugh and feel loved and want to nuzzle into his neck-folds all day long. i took him on a mother son date on saturday night and went to the bookstore and shared a bowl of soup at panera. he was being so sweet and telling funny stories that i could not understand a single word of. i only know they were funny because he would finish his punchline, then throw his head back in laughter. if i wasn't laughing, he'd give me a look like, "mom, you just don't get it", a look i'm preparing myself to see in about 14 years on a frequent basis. after dinner, we headed to the fountain and tossed in the 13 pennies finn had been proudly carrying around in his pocket. then, it was time to head home as the storms were looming. oh snap, do not even think of stopping finn's fun. the entire trip home, he shouted, "NOT NICE" and "BAD MOMMY" as he attempted to breathe from the all out tear-fest. the joys of motherhood are great.

it's happening.

2010-07-20T11:36:00.000-04:00

after our vacation, i came back to a depressing sight. all of my pea plants had wilted and the onions were turning a funny color. i dug up the onions hoping that meant they were ready for eating, but they were about the size of what we put into the ground. maybe better luck next year. that's what i get for taking three weeks away from doing a single thing in my little plot of land. but that doesn't mean that i am not reaping some reward. a couple nights ago, we had taco night, with freshly picked cilantro, lettuce, and tomatoes out the whazoo. oh. it was fantastic.

2's update

2010-07-12T16:27:00.003-04:00

baby bump is right on track according to the doctor. the crazy happy doctor who talked for twenty minutes straight at a rate faster than my sister-in-law alyssa after a tall starbucks cinnamon dolce latte. i mean, seriously, this doctor was unloading all of her wisdom on me. at one point, i said, "yeah, i remember all of this from the first time around." she paused for about 3 seconds, then continued on at rapid fire pace. i just nodded and said "yes" every few seconds and she seemed content to continue on with the information. but speed-talking doctor has a butt-load of knowledge and experience and was overwhelmingly excited to talk about all things baby and pelvis and vaginal birth and upcoming ultrasounds, so she is now officially my ob. she'll fit the bill and grab the baby as it hops out. yes, i'm hoping for the baby to literally hop out of my vagina, instead of getting stuck in a sub-horizontal position like finn. it will happen. i have faith. and so does doctor m. at least i think that's what she was saying. my mind was too busy wandering to the huge decision of whether to get a mcdonald's sweet tea or a sonic real fruit slushie on my way home.

the real update: the heart beat is identical to finn's at 148. and she's confident that it is a single baby and not a litter. oh, and i've already gained 15 pounds. i looked ridiculously cute today though in spite of the weight. i make an extra effort to look cute on days that i go to the ob, because there is something about going in and making sure the doctors and nurses know i've got my stuff together. i really don't want whispering behind my back "she's having another baby...just look how she looks with one." so yeah, i looked pretty fantastic and the new nugget is growing exponentially.

the buble party

2010-06-30T14:33:00.004-04:00

last night, my mom and i saw this stunning man perform. stunning in the average and every man sort of way. stunning none-the-less. while the average age in our car was 41, i wager that the mean age at the concert was more along the lines of 64.5. what a shocker! i had expected mostly college-aged girls in short skirts, boobie tops, and ugg boots prancing around hoping to get backstage. instead, there were more over-middle-aged couples there than at the early bird special at mcl cafeteria. conservative people with no sense of excitement and adventure, chocked full of fear of public dancing and of showing any emotion. the cougar in front of me, clad in leopard print no less, touched up her mascara and eye-liner instead of enjoying the opening act. oh, and the group of v.i.p.'s in the suite behind us stood up only between michael saying goodbye and the encore, i think because they thought it was finally time to go. poor rich people forced to see michael buble sing to them. their lives are rough! okay, enough about all the old people. back to the buble.

the concert was simply fantastic. he is just one of those people that was blessed with far too much raw talent. i would venture to say that he is the most talented person i've ever witnessed doing anything. his shows aren't these elaborate productions of lights, choreography, and wardrobe changes. he simply sings and does little else for two hours while thousands of people gawk at him. my husband though has ruined all types of concerts for me forever. instead of simply enjoying the joy that is buble, i was awestruck with the lcd screens that were moving across the back stage. they were crisp, they were clear, they were probably quite expensive. oh yeah, i paid a hundred bucks to watch that guy sing instead of wonder how they suspended the panels. again, back to the buble.

the buble was great. i highly recommend anyone getting him to play at your wedding and inviting me. or i guess you could just see him in concert for yourself. he's the frank sinatra of our generation with a little twist of crazy and weird thrown in. plus, you get to hang out with a very different crowd of people that you're probably normally use too. the buble's concerts are quite the cocktail of interest.

communication is key

2010-06-24T15:55:00.003-04:00

i can't wait to see who this little person becomes. it is just so incredibly fascinating to watch him grow up so quickly and suddenly be so assertive in what he wants. i can constantly see him wondering about what's going on around him and imagining all the crazy things he could do. i only wish he could tell me his thoughts instead of falling on the ground flailing his arms and legs until i realize he just wants a drink of lemonade.

utilizing the living room

2010-06-22T09:44:00.003-04:00

it's called a living room, yet we do no living in it. at this point, it's more of a walkway between the front door and the office. a very large portion of the large amount of square footage we claimed to have needed, yet this portion never gets used. until this weekend.

congratulations living room. we are using you for all things living. the contents of our entire upstairs are currently residing in this room as there are now two men banging incessantly on the floor above putting in our new carpet. yeeeee! giddy screams! while this has absolutely no impact on your life, my life will be infinitely better knowing that the previous owners' filth will be completely gone from my upstairs living spaces and i can walk confidently across its terrain. oh carpet men. i love you.

a second round

2010-06-18T10:00:00.000-04:00

a few weeks ago, i apologized for the lack of posting and made up some lame excuse about how nothing exciting was really going on and how i guess i was just busy with the mundane day-to-day stuff. i'm sure this is partially true, because i am frequently and currently drowning in the day-to-day. but there's also another reason for the hiatus. i had news to share that made all the silly stories feel unworthy to write about. news that i just wasn't ready to share until today.

i feel like i'm screaming, "ATTENTION WORLD" almost as loud as oprah scream-announces her guests.

this little family is growing! come january, we will be welcoming another little bundle of joy. yes. january. another stupid winter baby. the stupid part correlates with the winter part, not another baby part. i was built for the summer. i can stand outside in 80+ weather and enjoy every moment of sweating my guts out. but winter. blah. i just want to hibernate. sleep, eat, sleep, wear clothing directly out of the dryer, eat, sleep. add a baby to that, and i think the sleep part might be a little affected. but i'll sacrifice. we've waited for this to happen for a long while and it did. we finally heard the heart beat last week. it was strong and the doctor said things looked good!

so now you know why i've been ignoring sharing my life with you. it's because everything we do reminds me of the fact that i'm pregnant and stories are hard to tell without mentioning it. every restaurant we've gone to is because "baby" is craving it. every weekend away has been emphasized by sharing our news with family and friends. every activity we have done has been thwarted by me wanting to vomit my brains out. and oh the cute-cute stories of finn telling me he doesn't want a baby brother OR a baby sister. or how he pokes me in the belly button and screams "baby"in public. or how he sees babies in strollers and gets so giddy that i know he'll eventually come around to wanting one of his own. or how we've been working on his new room so he can move across the hallway into a big boy bed. oh, the things that i can tell you now. i'm so excited you know.

finally, we can cross number 16 off the list.

it's a beautiful day

2010-06-16T13:44:00.003-04:00

oh sweet bliss. i woke up today certain that it was going to be amazing and so far it has proved to be that way. minus, of course, the poop that brody left us on the floor overnight. but other than that, amazing. finn and i walked to the park to meet josh for a picnic lunch. a picnic lunch that i packed, with sandwiches that i made and fruit that i chopped up and vegetables that gave us all the nutrients we needed. i was so impressed with my picnic making skills. i felt like a good wife and mother. toot! toot! on my own tiny little horn.

finn enjoyed the entire ride over there in his big boy wagon. i'm not sure at what point this happened, but i have a kid. a kid that i don't fear will fall headfirst into the concrete while riding his little red wagon. the first couple times, i made josh walk right along side finn for fear he may try to throw himself out. oh, but the joy on that little boys face the first couple times. he was just so happy to get to experience something new and different from his stroller. he beamed the entire time.

now, however, he gives me this.

he's too cool to even sit up or smile or look around or anything. he just lounged the entire way there. on the way back home, the sun kept getting in his poor little eyes, to which he would scream, "EYES! EYES! MOMMYYYYYY!" i put my sunglasses on him and he nearly fell asleep. oh to be a kid again. would someone please pull me around so i can take a nap?

be prepared to be terrified

2010-06-09T13:50:00.002-04:00

i'm not sure how else to say this, but i think my child has a connection to ghosts. ghosts in the form of cats. how scary is that? this all started with what i think is a pet cemetery in the backyard. the previous owners (i feel like i always say that in a derogatory fashion) had not just one, but many many many cats based on the smell of the house when we first moved in. can you tell just one cat is too many for me? sorry cat lovers. then, there was this creepy little area in the backyard. a little half circle lined with bricks with nothing growing in it. just a mound of dirt. a mound of dirt which i assume is covering up the dead bodies of their previous fifteen cats.

well. i think they still live here. in the spirit i mean. i have sort of wondered when brody runs upstairs quickly and barks in the corners of rooms at seemingly nothing. yes, i believe my dog too is clairvoyant. but my fears were realized when finn started saying, "meow!" first thing every morning for the last week. yesterday, i finally asked him, "where is the kitty?" and he pointed immediately to the corner of the room and shouted "MEOW!" with his toothy grin. then he traced a path across the room until the ghost kitty got to the door, at which point he said, "meow out!" that's finn talk for open the door. shivers just shot up my spine just remembering it. i'm terrified of a dead house cat. seriously. terrified. should i have someone come bless my house and sprinkle holy water in finn's room to keep the ghost cats out?

oh. and do not google ghost cats then hit the images button at the top of the screen. my fears were just enhanced by the overwhelming amount of crazy people that believe that this is possible and have taken pictures of ghost cats. also, do not google "can babies see ghosts?" because, ooooh boy. there are tons more crazy people that believe that too.

oh the lessons we learn

2010-06-06T14:45:00.004-04:00

there are many things i have learned since i started gardening this year. oh my. it is hard work. had i known this, i may not have scoffed at the prices at the farmer's market and taken my lazy butt there every wednesday to support their efforts. my limbs are shaking right now from crouching down over my tiny little vegetables, as i quietly prayed over them and willed them to grow strong and savory. i just wish i knew a few things before i started it.

1. why on earth did i not draw a map of what was in my garden? i have absolutely no idea what things are, what the empty spaces are (i.e. what isn't growing), if it is a weed or the real thing. dearest me, next year, i will not rely on the placement of the flimsy seed bags to tell me what's where, as they are now all over the yard in tiny, wet paper pieces. i might invest in something like this for next spring. seriously, i have no idea what basil and parsley look like outside of a spice jar. i had to google it and i'm still not sure i pulled the right thing.

2. weed every day. do not, i repeat DO NOT, forget about weeding. i had tackled it all about two weeks ago, then i got busy with the new york trip. plus, it was raining every other day, so i hadn't worried about even go out there to water. then, my garden turned into this.
i'm pretty sure the wild grass was restricting the growth of everything else. i guess the fertilizer works wonders on weeds, but does diddly squat on jalapeño peppers.

3. do not turn your back, even for 1 second, on the ginormous spider you just spotted mere inches from your current location. it will be gone in an instant, leaving you to wonder the rest of the time where that sucker went and if it is going to crawl up on you and bite you and you'll die instantly and no one will find you because the weeds are so high and your decomposing body will become fertilizer but then no one will eat the vegetables because they are human-fertilized produce. sigh. it could happen.

4. seeing how my hard work is starting to pay off does connect me with the earth a little and make me excited to see what succeeds in this tiny little plot in my backyard. so far, i see tiny baby radishes and cilantro out the wazoo. that alone is enough to get me a little addicted to this whole thing. and weeding. it's a workout. so i'm buffing up and staying fit while doing it. bonus!

we got to be a part of it

2010-06-04T23:18:00.008-04:00

i surprised him. i surprised the crap out of him. the day before left for new york city last saturday, which happened to be friday, we were out to dinner with my family and i handed josh a early birthday present. inside we the following: new york cheddar chips, a card that said "josh turns 30 TODAY", and a frommer's guide to nyc with broadway tickets inside. oh, and the card had the today show logo on it to make a little more sense. it took poor old josh til the tourist guide to understand that he was leaving the very next day for a birthday vacation. a SURPRISE birthday vacation. i nearly peed myself with the excitement of waiting until moments before leaving to tell him. the best part, everyone else in the family was is on it. including my dad who was watching finn while we were gone. the same dad who still said, "wait, i thought you were going to chicago?" moments after the reveal. oh dave, it must be since you're nearing 60 that your brain cells are failing you. i'm glad to have accidentally surprised him as well.

needless to say, my breath was taken away by new york city. there is something about the bustle and charm and other-worldliness that makes me forget the stench of urine and piles of trash lining the streets. ah, new york. we spent most of our time just wandering the streets pretending to know which direction we were going, even though 90 percent of the time we would get the next street and turn 180 degrees and head back. lots of unnecessary exercise. which is good since my gym membership hasn't been used in about 4 weeks. and without finn. bliss. do you know how good it is to wake up at 8am without the sound of a child screaming for you to wake up? just the fact that you can relaxingly reacquaint yourself with the world after 9 full hours of dream-slumber makes all the difference in the world. single people and those without children, relish in that liberty. oh, i missed him, don't get me wrong. but i didn't miss the work. not one little bit.

we ate. we went to a couple broadway shows. we ate. we went to a museum. we ate so much more. we shopped. we had dessert. it was the perfect 4 day vacation from the day-to-day and dieting. i highly recommend it. i think i'm going to write about a couple of the restaurants soon. it needs that much attention. for now though, here's a few of the pictures. the very few pictures. why is it that we nearly always face our camera at our little one and never at ourselves or the rest of the world? oh, duh. because he's so darn cute.

my day with a fighter and a thief

2010-05-24T09:17:00.001-04:00

a couple weeks ago, we went to visit my grandma who just started another round of chemotherapy. let me just tell you, after four hours of being hooked up to an iv, i know i would not be as kind and amazing as she was. we walked in the door and she said, "oh goodness, what are you all doing here?" as if we were running into each other at the steak and shake on a sunday afternoon. i said, in a moderately snarky voice, "well, i guess we were in the neighborhood" instead of "we are here for you. remember, you're getting chemo'd." but she forgets that. she is just too awesome to let cancer get in her way. i imagine cancer patients to be sad and sick and being pushed around in wheelchairs, but not this lady. even when all of her hair was gone last summer, she looked healthy and happy and fully intent on kicking cancer's ass. and she thinks of others way above herself. when the nurse said, "watch finn so he doesn't kick the needle out of your grandma's arm," grandma said, "don't worry, it's only saline. it won't hurt him." WHAT? she's a superhero in my mind.

after we left, i had to stop by the babies r us and crate and barrel to buy a few shower gifts. the thriving metropolis of lafayette still lacks these amazing stores, so alas, our trips to indianapolis are jam-packed and eventful. babies r us, ran in to quickly grab a couple baby goo gaas (duh...it's a baby store right). but of course, i can't figure out how to get the registry to print off. i kept trying and trying, when finally the 75 year old register lady, who had been watching me angrily the whole time walks over and says, "can't you see the blinking light? it means you need more paper." i wanted to say, "well, if you saw it from way over there, why didn't you just come over and DO YOUR JOB?" but i didn't. i laughed nervously like i had just been yelled at by the bus driver. they looked oddly similar. of course, abby's registry was 25 pages, so 100 pages later, i had my 4 registries to look at and was off to buy two items off of it. i saved them to recycle at home.

on to crate and barrel. i ran in to quickly grab a couple house-type goo gaas. the registry printed off in a jiffy, because the employees there really care! grabbed a couple things for jen and kristen and a couple things for me (i couldn't resist). then of course went to the register where a new employee was working. a man in his fifties named john, who commented on how cute all my items were and that i was selfish to keep them for myself. meanwhile, finn was having a meltdown, so i handed him the closest non-breakable item to fiddle with. 20 minutes later, many packages in hand, i pushed finn out, packed up the car, drove away and noticed finn chewing on these. i didn't even think to turn around and return them. there weren't any cops around, so i figured i'll start the thievery early.

get in the hole

2010-05-23T07:37:00.003-04:00

i cringed when i typed the title. i hate hate hate it when tiger woods is on the tee on a par 5 and right after his swing, multiple jackasses yell 'get in the hole'. if i were him, i would probably turn around and tell them to shush it. can you imagine tiger woods yelling 'shush it!!!!'? it'd make my day.

i haven't been golfing in probably 3 years. i can't believe it's been that long. it was such a big part of my life in high school, but i'm realizing that i sound like a huge loser when i say that because high school was 8 years ago. gross. how did that happen? regardless, i miss golfing. more specifically, i miss golfing with my dad and brothers. if we were bored any spring/summer/fall day/evening, we would just grab our clubs, jump in the cart, and start right in the middle of the 2nd fairway and play a few holes. i want that again. maybe someday, i'll leave this god forsaken house behind and move to live on a golf course. that will be the day that josh's blood pressure will shoot through the roof, because he'll finally have to face how much he sucks at golfing. love you babe.

sucking and all, josh and i went to the driving range last night. we took finn, which made for some awesomeness! it took the focus out of me a little wondering if i was going to smack finn directly in the face with the end of my 4-iron, but we still had fun. josh bought the jumbo basket of balls, so we had a few to spare and let finn work his magic. after getting over the fact that there were so many 'big big big big balls' (finn says this on a daily basis), he got to work and hit a few. with his one handed swing. but it was still so cute. i think we have a little tiger woods in the making. one of course that doesn't cheat on his wife and claim sex addiction. fun times.

2010-05-18T07:35:00.003-04:00

i wish i could tell you that my hiatus meant that i had done tons of amazing things, but i honestly can't remember a single thing i have done in the last couple weeks. oh heavens. i'm getting old. i promise i'll have something fun going on in my life to share soon. if not, i'll lie and pretend i'm cool. in the meantime, i've just been hanging out with this little nugget and having regular no-pants-parties. the little nugget with no pants. not his mother.

how to make your house smell like death

2010-05-05T22:03:00.006-04:00

my new favorite thing is kale chips. yum. yum. yum. they are so good and equally nutritious. kale is a leafy green vegetable high in vitamin a, vitamin c, calcium, fiber, and manganese. WOOHOO. i can never get my diet to be high enough in manganese. at long last, a vegetable that suffices! i highly recommend everyone tries to make them at their home. it's simple, in fact i'm doing it as i type this.all you have to do is tear the kale into bite size pieces, dry it in the salad spinner, plop them on a baking sheet, sprinkle on some olive oil and salt, then bake for 10-15 minutes at 350 until they're a little crispy and brown on the outsides. then, bam. your house smells like ass, but it's okay, because there's a party in my tummy. so yummy.

note: do not forget to check while baking, because these suckers burn easily and your house may end up smelling even worse.

out in the wilderness

2010-05-04T13:58:00.000-04:00

our friend andrew told us about geocaching and whoop, we love it. that's right. WHOOP!

the thing about geocaching that i love so much is that you never know if there is a cache right near where you are and you just don't know about it. it's like a secret society. we didn't have a clue about it until we were told to check it out. see, you go to the website and search your area. it gives you the gps coordinates of all the caches, which are water-tight canisters with a logbook and sometimes some fancy trinkets to claim. then, you take your gps device (or in our case, josh's geocache application on the iphone) and go search it out. a couple weekends back, josh and i went out to search for a few in the plymouth area and found 7. some were in the woods, another was in an old cemetery, and one was in the parking lot at lowe's. who knew! it helped me see areas of plymouth i would have never gone to.

my mom and dad went out with us for a few of them and really got into it. it was so pretty precious. i so wish i would have videotaped it, because in the midst of the first hunt, my dad was all about galloping (okay, just walking briskly) to the location and finding it before anyone else. a 50-something man so excited to be on a modern-day treasure hunt. at the end of the day, my dad was like, 'yeah, i guess that was okay.' oh dad, too proud to say how awesome geocaching is. so awesome. you should try it.

caught

2010-05-01T11:29:00.003-04:00

we finally got all of our seeds planted and things are ready to start growing (hopefully). thank god i had finn to help me toss all the onion bulbs on the ground and sprinkle seeds in the grass next to the garden. my little helper.

2010-05-01T11:24:00.002-04:00

who needs toys and rawhides when there are sticks all over the backyard? please ignore the overgrown grass. josh was helping his wife instead of mowing the grass. it's fenced in. he mowed the front and we figure we're the only ones who see the back. horrible, isn't it?

old katie would never understand

2010-04-21T16:31:00.006-04:00

if you knew me a few years ago, you would think that this post is a complete fabrication. heck, even last year i was so disgusted with dirt and bugs that i forced my mother-in-law to do most of my gardening. now though, i'm a certifiable green thumb. is that right? isn't that what you call gardeners? see...i'm still trying to figure it all out. i've been reading a couple books and am working on the lingo.

when we moved into this house last summer, there were some disgusting looking gardens with overgrown everything (mostly weeds) with random borders. so random. like bricks on a couple, then some of those cheap-o black plastic borders, then a couple with a little more pricey stone edging. it made no sense. oh, and the mulch. don't get me started on the mulch. like three different UGLY colors. it was as if our backyard was a community garden that was rented out to like six different people. six people with very bad taste and apparently bad backs who refused to weed.through it all though, i have so much hope for this garden and am confident it will eventually be amazing. so, i'm starting to weed. i've been weeding for the last three weeks, little by little, and there is still so much more that needs to be pulled. today, i saw a spider and didn't even jump or scream. i may have let out a "ugh-a-ugh-ga-ga-ga" (i think that's how to best spell the noise i made). point is, i'm doing it. i'm gardening in spite of the huge obstacles in my way and the fact that i think i'm weeding the same spots every time i go out there with my gloves on and trowel in hand. my only glimmer of hope lies in a few random tulips that have started growing through all the junk, bricks, weeds, and yuck. and the trees have started getting colorful. we have a purple tree in the back. i didn't know they existed. it's gorgeous outside.
i actually find getting my hands dirty a little relaxing and therapeutic. i'm getting in touch with nature and with how things used to be. i can't wait until we get to plant the seeds and hopefully get to eat some of the things that come out of the earth. the same earth that i spent so many hours tending to. the earth in my very own backyard.