admitting failure (a post full of parentheses)

i haven't been keeping up on posting weekly photos.  i haven't even taken a photo a day like i had intended to for the duration of this year.  i am admitting my failure at project 365 and moving on from it for now.  maybe 2013 will be a better year for that.  there are reasons for this failure that i am not offering as excuses, just merely complete roadblocks in allowing me to be the perfect woman i have dreams of someday being.  the woman who can take care of her two kids (who are absolutely insane), take care of our house (which is an absolute disaster), pay attention to her husband (sorry josh!), and spend hours a day pursuing new interests (yeah right!). 

well, one thing that is taking up way too much of my time is training for the mini-marathon.  it seemed to me like a great way to get in shape, get to bond with my roommate from college (we're running it together), and check something off my life list.  in my mind, it was only 13.1 miles.  only.  no big deal.  what was i thinking?  it's 13.1 miles.  did you hear me?  13.1 miles.   the longest i've run in any given stretch was maybe 4, and that involved me chasing after the much more talented girls on my track team, struggling to not lose sight of them, cursing repeatedly under my breath that i wasn't as fast as them.  (sidenote: one of those girls will most likely win an olympic gold medal this summer.  i forgive my teenage self for not being able to keep up with her).  regardless, naptime used to be blog time, reading time, pretend to pick up the house time, tv time.  now it is only training time with the hopes of being able to shower before one or both wake up.  i ran for an hour today, and today was a short run day.  that's absurd.   i just want this to be over.  (another sidenote: apparently, quitting nursing six weeks ago and following an excessive exercise routine can cause insane hormone issues.  this has led me to cry at anything sweet, funny, sad, nerve-racking, scary, or really any emotion.  it has also led me to have a period that has lasted about four weeks.  i hate running even more).  i long for the days when i can run three miles and be impressed with myself.  someday.  someday soon...