the power of the number 2

the last few weeks of my life have been ridiculously impacted by the number two. did you know that two is only one more than one? yet when it's children we're discussing an increase in, the impact of adding just one more is substantial. substantial as in completely chewing up my life of order and schedule and anticipation for what is to come next, then spitting out something that is completely disorganized and dirty and often smells of poo. with two, i suddenly have four times the amount of laundry to do, six times the stress, half the sleep, and no time to do anything but hold babies. that anything includes showering, using the restroom, cleaning up anything, and constructing the 2011 calendar that i gave my mom for christmas. that's right folks! it's february, and i'm still trying to get christmas gifts out. god help me...

then there's the second major impact. finn is two years old. full-fledged two. flopping-his-body-on-the-ground two. i-learned-i-have-a-voice two. too-much-energy-for-mommy-to-deal-with-when-sleep-deprived two. in a word, exhausting! i love my little man, but whoo boy! he is busy. and often quite defiant. i'm hoping that it's just a phase. i often tell josh to relax and remember that finn is a two year old, and then forget to remember that myself when i'm in a battle for him to put pants on. ever since ada came, we've been expecting so much of him, but seriously. he's still a baby. a giant baby with giant diapers that he orders me to change. i think we might be ready to really potty train, but again, i barely have time to go to the bathroom myself. god help me...

another 1st

we've been telling finn that when he turns three, he'll get to go to school. well, the brilliant little bugger that he is figured out that his cousin macy goes to school and she is only two, so off to "school" he went. a church nearby, like 2 minutes away nearby, has a mommy's time out program. i had heard good things and thought it would be a little like sunday school or the mommy group that i go to, with lots of fun things for the kids to do and with lots of little kids happily running around. finn would cheerily run into the room excited to dive in to the toys and crafts and fun.

it didn't go as i dreamt. finn was totally uninterested in going. we packed him up into the car and he just kept saying, "i want to go in my house" and "i don't go to school" and "i play with mommy and daddy." we walked him in and he cried as i signed him in. the room was a little depressing and there were only a couple other little girls there. two hours later, we went to pick him up and i'm pretty sure he is done with going to school for a little while. this morning i asked if he wanted to go back and he quickly replied with an "um.....i go to school when i three. i two."

first torture

the first bath. i imagined this amazing moment of washing my sweet newborn baby and her playfully splashing in the water, feeling soothed and calmed by the warmth all over her tiny baby body. instead, i'm pretty sure she thought she was being tortured. how dare i strip her down, pour perfectly warm water over her and gently clean the combination spit-up/poop smell off her. she is content with that smell thank you very much.

of course, it could have been big brother dumping water over her face that initially set her off. we'll never know.

i think these two are related

finn 10 days old

ada 6 days old

photo smile

somewhere in the last two months, finn's smile has gone from the most adorable, genuine grin to cheese face. when i come near with a camera or my phone because he is just being so stinking adorable, he immediately shifts his natural smile to "cheeeeeeeeeeese"! what can i say, he knows how to strike a pose.

a little introduction

on december 30th, 2010, we welcomed our sweet little girl, adelaide marjorie mcdowell. we're going to call her ada for short. she was 8 pounds 8 ounces and 21.5 inches, just a little bit bigger than her older brother was at birth. looking at her now, i can't remember finn ever being that tiny. she is just amazing. calm in fact. i honestly could not have asked for a more perfect newborn to join our family. she eats, sleeps, poops, and sleeps some more. while the hours of 11pm until 6am aren't necessarily the most enjoyable times, i do get a large chunk of sleep with a baby perched upon my chest. i would definitely prefer to get an unencumbered eight hours of sleep, but i can't be picky. i have a baby that sleeps a lot and a 2 year old that sleeps in. when he doesn't sleep in, he still has this crazy idea in his mind that he can't leave the confines of his bed. fantastic! these adventures in having two children are exciting.

the birth story

if this birth didn't teach me that things will work out the way God wants them to work out, then i'm not sure i'll ever learn that lesson. this was an amazing experience, but dang was it tough.

the back story leading up to the day:
from the moment that i found out i was pregnant, i knew that i wanted to try to have a vaginal birth and forgo having another cesarean. after all the pep talks and reassurances from the doctor that this was a great plan, we found out that the copay on a hospital stay would go up $900 at the beginning of the new year. i also found out that the baby was measuring 1-2 weeks ahead of schedule, meaning he/she was big. i started to get nervous that if i waited til the end, i wouldn't be able to have a vaginal birth regardless of how hard i tried. plus, i didn't want to spend more money to have a c-section than i had to. i know. it's pretty ridiculous that i'm monetizing the birth of my second child. so two weeks before my due date, i scheduled a c-section for december 31st; the perfect low copay tax-deduction baby would arrive new years eve. but honestly, i prayed daily that God would start contractions early and i would have this baby early.

the actual story of the day:
i woke up at 4am on december 30th to a contraction. no big deal since i've been having them for months. then about 15 minutes later, i woke up again. this happened over and over until about 6:30 when i thought it was a good idea to start timing them. i got up, showered, and had contractions every 8-10 minutes. this continued for about 3 hours, when they started getting down to 5-6 minutes apart. i insisted we get lunch before i called the doctor, because honestly, i just wanted to eat before they told me that i couldn't. i called in after lunch, when contractions were 3-4 minutes apart, and ended up going to the doctor. the doctor said that i was 3-4 cm and head to the hospital immediately. the day before i was at zero centimeters and the doctor told me that things were not going to progress quick enough and i would be having a c-section, so i was pumped to say the least.

at 4pm, we arrived at the hospital and got hooked up. she broke my water, and i immediately went to 8cm. oh, and i got the epidural. fantastic decision. for the next 3 hours, we peacefully waited and waited and waited until i finally progressed to 10cm. i almost didn't believe the doctor that it was time because she was unbelievably calm and patient, a trait i would appreciate immensely later.

time to push. and push. and push. and push. i wasn't making a ton of progress, so dr. haab got the vacuum out and suctioned the baby over my lower vertebrae. apparently, my lowest vertebrae tilt inward, which makes it nearly impossible for a baby's head to get out unaided. which is why finn couldn't make it out and i ended up with a c-section the last time. needless to say, i was a little depressed when the doctor said that there was a very good chance this wouldn't work and that i would be wheeled into the o.r. in the next few minutes. but i just kept pushing. and pushing. and pushing. i looked down at one point and thought the doctor might just climb into my vagina completely. it was not fun. so not fun.

but after two hours, we were as close as close could be. after two hours of pushing, i was exhausted and just wanted him/her out. i now understand why women scream so much once they get that close to the end. it's painful. they had kept the epidural on the lowest dose so i could feel as much as possible, but i didn't want to feel as much as possible any longer. after a disgusting episiotomy that i watched in mirror (yugghh), three contractions and lots of shrieking later, SHE was born. our perfect little girl.

two days later, we named that little girl adelaide marjorie and now i can't imagine our lives without her.