this sucks!

i've been gone from this blog for a while. for good reason though. i hate pregnancy and don't know what else to talk about. i'm already 20 pounds up, my back hurts, i get headaches every day, my vagina feels like it is already opening for a baby to drop out, i just look fat not pregnant, and i'm sweaty and shiny all the time. boo. what part of this is fun? i thought God cursed eve by making labor painful, not the entire pregnancy.

good news. i am living through this and at the end a baby awaits. i'm hoping that i start to feel less obese and more pregnant. i started working out more. by more, i mean once a week, but it is progress. i'm also somewhat focused on eating better. i think my diet of crap and mcdonalds and lard has probably helped the process of weight gain, so fruits and veggies, here i come.

i'm done whining. i love you all and i'll post cute pictures of finn soon, so you won't be so depressed by my sad sad life that i am projecting here.

it's not always giggles and kisses

i have been having such a fun time with finn in the last couple weeks, my sweet little man that is growing into such an independent little person that makes me laugh and feel loved and want to nuzzle into his neck-folds all day long. i took him on a mother son date on saturday night and went to the bookstore and shared a bowl of soup at panera. he was being so sweet and telling funny stories that i could not understand a single word of. i only know they were funny because he would finish his punchline, then throw his head back in laughter. if i wasn't laughing, he'd give me a look like, "mom, you just don't get it", a look i'm preparing myself to see in about 14 years on a frequent basis. after dinner, we headed to the fountain and tossed in the 13 pennies finn had been proudly carrying around in his pocket. then, it was time to head home as the storms were looming. oh snap, do not even think of stopping finn's fun. the entire trip home, he shouted, "NOT NICE" and "BAD MOMMY" as he attempted to breathe from the all out tear-fest. the joys of motherhood are great.

it's happening.

after our vacation, i came back to a depressing sight. all of my pea plants had wilted and the onions were turning a funny color. i dug up the onions hoping that meant they were ready for eating, but they were about the size of what we put into the ground. maybe better luck next year. that's what i get for taking three weeks away from doing a single thing in my little plot of land. but that doesn't mean that i am not reaping some reward. a couple nights ago, we had taco night, with freshly picked cilantro, lettuce, and tomatoes out the whazoo. oh. it was fantastic.

2's update

baby bump is right on track according to the doctor. the crazy happy doctor who talked for twenty minutes straight at a rate faster than my sister-in-law alyssa after a tall starbucks cinnamon dolce latte. i mean, seriously, this doctor was unloading all of her wisdom on me. at one point, i said, "yeah, i remember all of this from the first time around." she paused for about 3 seconds, then continued on at rapid fire pace. i just nodded and said "yes" every few seconds and she seemed content to continue on with the information. but speed-talking doctor has a butt-load of knowledge and experience and was overwhelmingly excited to talk about all things baby and pelvis and vaginal birth and upcoming ultrasounds, so she is now officially my ob. she'll fit the bill and grab the baby as it hops out. yes, i'm hoping for the baby to literally hop out of my vagina, instead of getting stuck in a sub-horizontal position like finn. it will happen. i have faith. and so does doctor m. at least i think that's what she was saying. my mind was too busy wandering to the huge decision of whether to get a mcdonald's sweet tea or a sonic real fruit slushie on my way home.

the real update: the heart beat is identical to finn's at 148. and she's confident that it is a single baby and not a litter. oh, and i've already gained 15 pounds. i looked ridiculously cute today though in spite of the weight. i make an extra effort to look cute on days that i go to the ob, because there is something about going in and making sure the doctors and nurses know i've got my stuff together. i really don't want whispering behind my back "she's having another baby...just look how she looks with one." so yeah, i looked pretty fantastic and the new nugget is growing exponentially.