touch my belly!

yesterday on our nightly walk, we passed by a couple neighbors we hadn't met yet, and the woman asked me when i was due! finally! people are confident enough that i'm pregnant to ask. the last few weeks i've been almost there, but it's official people. i look pregnant!

i'm over halfway there. i cannot believe it. i feel like i'm so unprepared to have two. finn makes sure to show me daily that i already have my hands full with just him, so i will have quite the adventure when i'm trying to get him to stop jumping off the side of his chair (which he doing right now) while breastfeeding a newborn and trying not to lift over 20 pounds (yeah right) and keeping the house a little bit clean and getting finn to stop dialing on the phone and changing double the poopy diapers and washing all those poopy baby clothes and pumping and trying to take a quick nap and ... i wish i were an elephant. they have a 22 month pregnancy, so i would still have a long long way to go and more time to worry about how this whole mom-of-two thing works.

but i need to stop getting ahead of myself. i'm pregnant. with an amazing little creation. while the pregnancy itself has made me feel pretty disgusting, the last 4 weeks have momentously made up for them. this kid has been bumping and kicking and what feels like surfing from one side to the other. i will never get tired of this. it's a daily reminder that the vomiting and headaches and backaches and constipation are completely worth it, and that in 18 short weeks, there will be another new person on this planet. a person that i really hope looks a lot like finn. because come on, he's pretty awesome!

sir brody of west lafayette-ington

when i imagine brody talking, which i do often, i am certain he would have a british accent and look down his nose at us. he would probably wear spectacles and say things like, "please do not bother me" and "let me rest and i'll tell you when i'm ready to go outside." then he would sit and sun himself and discuss poetry with his other snooty british dog friends.

and then i gained 10 iq points.

today, i'm introducing smart katie. i picked up my glasses today with the full intention of them being work-only glasses. the only time i noticed my poor eyesight was looking up from the computer screen in the artificial (terrible) lighting cloud that is cvs and taking 4.68 seconds for my eyes to barely focus on the person in front of me. other than that, i had no inkling that my eyes were failing me. until today. on the way home from the doctor's, i placed them on my face and bam! did you all know that trees have LEAVES? there is a sudden definition in my world that i hadn't noticed was missing in the last year of my life. so now my work-only glasses may turn into all-the-time glasses and i'll have a new obsession of purchasing many fancy and distinct pairs.

also of note. i just happened to have chosen a near identical pair to my husband's, which just makes us look more like one another. hey, that's what couples are supposed to do, right? FANTASTIC!

to live in a magazine

i don't know if everyone feels this way, but i always have this lingering feeling like i'm living two lives. there's the one that's in my head, and then the other one. the one i'm actually living. the first one i can see a glimpse of every time my kitchen is spotless and finn runs around the corner (completely clothed) screaming "lub you" and arms wide for a hug. i can almost taste it when i've just crossed off the last thing off my daily to-do list and exhale with utter satisfaction. i feel like i'm just around the corner from it when i see a magazine cover with the words "5-ingredient meals for busy weeknights" and think to myself that i could be an amazing wife and cook amazing healthy food every night thanks to this plan. then the real-life living creeps in.

you see, finn is never fully and cleanly clothed and usually is only screaming for hugs and "lub you"s because he just smacked me across the face or wants another vitamin. and the moment my to-dos get finished...who am i kidding. i just woke up from a two hour unplanned nap after i sat down to look at my to-do list for the day. oh and the cooking. that magazine, bon appetit, it makes me think that i can do it all. until i open to the article and realize that the whole thing is a lie. it isn't 5-ingredient meals, but instead 5-ingredient recipes for sides, main courses, and desserts. sure, i admit that i am a little sick of my signature pasta and texas toast "recipe", but i'm not sure if i'm going to replace it with "watermelon granitas with gingered strawberries" (which only take 4 and 1/2 hours), "pistachio-crusted tofu with ponzu sauce" (no idea what ponzu is), and "warm baked apples with cranberry-caramel sauce." the last one does sound so amazing, but i guess i forgot to stock up on my heavy whipping cream tonight.

this isn't a post of my sob story for the day. it's just a post of realization. i woke up from my amazingly refreshing two hour nap to the sound of finn screaming my name and couldn't be happier. i may have tripped over his toys and knocked a pile of mail onto the dirty floor on my way to get him, but he seems perfectly content to live in this house. mess and pasta dinners and all, he continues to want me to play with him. and if i'm extremely lucky, he'll give me kisses before he smacks me in the chin or screams "I AM MAD" when i ask him why he's crying. but i'll take them afterwards, too. i wonder if my fantasy life even exists or if it is just on the well-planned magazine covers. i shall try, minus the ponzu sauce and watermelon granitas. i know that is never going to happen on a monday night.

overly everything

i think it's probably the pregnancy hormones (i blame everything on them), but yesterday watching all the moms and dads drop their kids off at the first day of school overwhelmed me with a flood of emotions that i still am not quite understanding. friends from work had said, "just wait, you'll get crazy emotional when finn goes to kindergarten" and i assured them they were 100 percent wrong. i am just not that type of mom. from the emotional response today however, i am certain that i will be the woman crying many tears as my finn turns his back and runs into school with no regard to my feelings. if i'm pregnant when that happens, which is highly unlikely, oh boy, i'll be the crazy lady being dragged out by elementary school security screaming "MY BABY! MY BABY! MY SWEET LITTLE BABY!" because i was nearly there today. looking at my sweet 20-month old and imagining how completely happy he'll be to leave me and enter the great big world of school. i am so thankful i have 4 years before this madness is reality. until then, i'll take photos of him in the outfit of his choice (boots and all) with his backpack as i drop him off at his nonny's while i go to work. that's all the emotional inner turmoil i can take today.

he knows everything

josh has this uncanny ability to start believing something before he has even finished making up the story/definition/situation/whatever. he will start with an "i think" and end with "no, this really happened." example: a conversation we had a couple days ago.

me: what's an astigmatism?
him: well. um. i think it is when your eye wanders off the side. maybe.
me: i don't think so. isn't it a curve in the eye that makes things blurry?
him: no, that's not it. it's a lazy eye. (said very matter of factly)
me: well, the doctor said i have an astigmatism in both eyes.
him: um....
(long pause)
him: wow, you have two lazy eyes?
(long pause)
(me laughing hysterically)

ugh. instead of him saying, "i must be wrong," i became a person with two lazy eyes. i'm not sure what that would look like, but i'm pretty sure my eyes are usually going in the right direction and i just have blurry vision.

as promised

needless to say from the lack of documentation, finn has been very busy this summer. here are a few of my favorite photos from the many adventures we've had so far.