poop talk

if you are one of those people, like my brother jeff, who does not like to hear any mention of the fact that people produce farts or god forbid poop, then discontinue reading. also, suck it up. everyone poops and it's weird that you get so disgusted.

anyway, there are many things that people don't tell you about motherhood, i think mostly to ensure that people continue to procreate. one of those things is that you never get another moment of private pooping. the second finn hears the fan turn on in the bathroom, he'll scream, "i'm coming." lovely. i was wondering where my audience was. i was hoping that instead of having 2 minutes to myself that i would get someone to narrate what was going on and discuss with me that i was stinky, yucky, poopy, etc.

luckily for me, this isn't happening too often, because people don't tell you certain things about pregnancy either. again, this is to ensure that women continue to procreate. when you realize that you haven't pooped in four days, suddenly pooping with a two-year-old audience doesn't seem so bad.

all this information about pooping has only arisen because of my sweet little finn. he has an appointment with a specialist in two months, but before we go, we have to have an adominal x-ray done to ensure that he doesn't have bowel obstruction and/or chronic constipation. apparently it's protocol before seeing a pediatric urologist. i literally laughed when they told me this, because seriously, it's like clockwork. if he doesn't poop immediately when he wakes up, i am fearful for the rest of the day, knowing it could occur at any second. then he likes to surprise me every once in a while with an extra poop, just for the fun of it. my favorite poop moment yet happened today, which just so coincided with me feeling backed up and poop-depressed. in the middle of babies r us, picking out which potty seat he wanted, he sat down pants and diaper intact, made one grunt, and exclaimed, "i pooped on the potty." he mocks me with how easy it is.