overly everything

i think it's probably the pregnancy hormones (i blame everything on them), but yesterday watching all the moms and dads drop their kids off at the first day of school overwhelmed me with a flood of emotions that i still am not quite understanding. friends from work had said, "just wait, you'll get crazy emotional when finn goes to kindergarten" and i assured them they were 100 percent wrong. i am just not that type of mom. from the emotional response today however, i am certain that i will be the woman crying many tears as my finn turns his back and runs into school with no regard to my feelings. if i'm pregnant when that happens, which is highly unlikely, oh boy, i'll be the crazy lady being dragged out by elementary school security screaming "MY BABY! MY BABY! MY SWEET LITTLE BABY!" because i was nearly there today. looking at my sweet 20-month old and imagining how completely happy he'll be to leave me and enter the great big world of school. i am so thankful i have 4 years before this madness is reality. until then, i'll take photos of him in the outfit of his choice (boots and all) with his backpack as i drop him off at his nonny's while i go to work. that's all the emotional inner turmoil i can take today.

he knows everything

josh has this uncanny ability to start believing something before he has even finished making up the story/definition/situation/whatever. he will start with an "i think" and end with "no, this really happened." example: a conversation we had a couple days ago.

me: what's an astigmatism?
him: well. um. i think it is when your eye wanders off the side. maybe.
me: i don't think so. isn't it a curve in the eye that makes things blurry?
him: no, that's not it. it's a lazy eye. (said very matter of factly)
me: well, the doctor said i have an astigmatism in both eyes.
him: um....
(long pause)
him: wow, you have two lazy eyes?
(long pause)
(me laughing hysterically)

ugh. instead of him saying, "i must be wrong," i became a person with two lazy eyes. i'm not sure what that would look like, but i'm pretty sure my eyes are usually going in the right direction and i just have blurry vision.

as promised

needless to say from the lack of documentation, finn has been very busy this summer. here are a few of my favorite photos from the many adventures we've had so far.

this sucks!

i've been gone from this blog for a while. for good reason though. i hate pregnancy and don't know what else to talk about. i'm already 20 pounds up, my back hurts, i get headaches every day, my vagina feels like it is already opening for a baby to drop out, i just look fat not pregnant, and i'm sweaty and shiny all the time. boo. what part of this is fun? i thought God cursed eve by making labor painful, not the entire pregnancy.

good news. i am living through this and at the end a baby awaits. i'm hoping that i start to feel less obese and more pregnant. i started working out more. by more, i mean once a week, but it is progress. i'm also somewhat focused on eating better. i think my diet of crap and mcdonalds and lard has probably helped the process of weight gain, so fruits and veggies, here i come.

i'm done whining. i love you all and i'll post cute pictures of finn soon, so you won't be so depressed by my sad sad life that i am projecting here.

it's not always giggles and kisses

i have been having such a fun time with finn in the last couple weeks, my sweet little man that is growing into such an independent little person that makes me laugh and feel loved and want to nuzzle into his neck-folds all day long. i took him on a mother son date on saturday night and went to the bookstore and shared a bowl of soup at panera. he was being so sweet and telling funny stories that i could not understand a single word of. i only know they were funny because he would finish his punchline, then throw his head back in laughter. if i wasn't laughing, he'd give me a look like, "mom, you just don't get it", a look i'm preparing myself to see in about 14 years on a frequent basis. after dinner, we headed to the fountain and tossed in the 13 pennies finn had been proudly carrying around in his pocket. then, it was time to head home as the storms were looming. oh snap, do not even think of stopping finn's fun. the entire trip home, he shouted, "NOT NICE" and "BAD MOMMY" as he attempted to breathe from the all out tear-fest. the joys of motherhood are great.

it's happening.

after our vacation, i came back to a depressing sight. all of my pea plants had wilted and the onions were turning a funny color. i dug up the onions hoping that meant they were ready for eating, but they were about the size of what we put into the ground. maybe better luck next year. that's what i get for taking three weeks away from doing a single thing in my little plot of land. but that doesn't mean that i am not reaping some reward. a couple nights ago, we had taco night, with freshly picked cilantro, lettuce, and tomatoes out the whazoo. oh. it was fantastic.

2's update

baby bump is right on track according to the doctor. the crazy happy doctor who talked for twenty minutes straight at a rate faster than my sister-in-law alyssa after a tall starbucks cinnamon dolce latte. i mean, seriously, this doctor was unloading all of her wisdom on me. at one point, i said, "yeah, i remember all of this from the first time around." she paused for about 3 seconds, then continued on at rapid fire pace. i just nodded and said "yes" every few seconds and she seemed content to continue on with the information. but speed-talking doctor has a butt-load of knowledge and experience and was overwhelmingly excited to talk about all things baby and pelvis and vaginal birth and upcoming ultrasounds, so she is now officially my ob. she'll fit the bill and grab the baby as it hops out. yes, i'm hoping for the baby to literally hop out of my vagina, instead of getting stuck in a sub-horizontal position like finn. it will happen. i have faith. and so does doctor m. at least i think that's what she was saying. my mind was too busy wandering to the huge decision of whether to get a mcdonald's sweet tea or a sonic real fruit slushie on my way home.

the real update: the heart beat is identical to finn's at 148. and she's confident that it is a single baby and not a litter. oh, and i've already gained 15 pounds. i looked ridiculously cute today though in spite of the weight. i make an extra effort to look cute on days that i go to the ob, because there is something about going in and making sure the doctors and nurses know i've got my stuff together. i really don't want whispering behind my back "she's having another baby...just look how she looks with one." so yeah, i looked pretty fantastic and the new nugget is growing exponentially.