first black eye

2 years 10 months and i'm guessing around 457 times of hitting his head, yet this is finn's very first black eye. it took the combination my niece macy's skull and a jumpy house to allow us this first. and finn didn't even cry. what a man!

my little constructioneer

i've been off of work for five days. five glorious days which have been spent mostly appeasing finn as he is sick. meanwhile, i'm sick, but neither child is doing much for me. selfish selfish children. regardless, finn and i have been having fun, and i'm trying as hard as i can to be actively playing with my kids for a good part of the day. that is said as i'm sitting on the computer and finn is coloring underneath my desk and i have my knees pulled up to my chest as finn requested that i give him more space to work. this apparently is a time that he wants less active participation by mom.

because of this illness, we have been inside a lot. i go crazy being inside a lot, especially knowing that winter is coming and i'll be stuck here even more. any excuse to get out of the house, even for two minutes is worth it. yesterday and today, men were working on our street fixing another portion that is crumbling apart, and the moment i heard the trucks coming, i clothed finn and we ran out to watch them. naturally, i told the construction workers that it was finn who heard them and begged me to take him outside. they let us check out the back hoe and finn was mesmerized. today, we watched them shovel asphalt into the hole and when i told finn it was time to come in, he simply said, "no, i'm going to stay out here with the constructioneers." my fears of an unfriendly child are resolved.

life as an only

yesterday, i dropped finn off at his grandparents for a night away. they went camping, which is the only way that child will ever experience camping. we aren't campers. don't get me wrong, we like the outdoors. i would love to spend the entire day hiking trails, taking walks, just enjoying nature. but one thing i am certain of, i will be spending the night in a bed indoors where there is running water and heat and a place for my kids to sleep that is separate from where my body rests. my mother-in-law likes to tell me that one day i'll be a camper, like this is a phase. this is not a phase, kathy, i will never join you for a week in the wilderness, unless there is a lodge. if there is a spa in that lodge, then definitely sign me up.

i was extremely excited to have two days alone with my second child, especially when i received a call 1 hour after drop-off from my mother-in-law saying, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM? DID YOU GIVE HIM CANDY FOR BREAKFAST? HE'S TALKING REALLY FAST AND WON'T STOP MOVING AND LOOKS LIKE HE IS GOING TO FLY OUT OF THE CARSEAT AT ANY MOMENT?" that little conversation was enough to give me a greater spring in my step as i realized that i didn't have to deal with finn during one of his crazy, hyper, "watch me watch me watch me watch me", this-is-what-it-would-look-like-if-toddlers-took-cocaine type days.

there is one problem with this night away though. i think ada is enjoying this only child thing quite a bit. i didn't know that a ten month old would even realize the difference in the amount of attention she received, but it's amazing. she was giggling non-stop for the first hour we were alone. she wouldn't stop talking the entire time we were at lunch together. when people stopped to talk to her at the store, she would look into the back of the cart where finn usually is, then crack up. it was adorable, but a little sinister. i hope she's nice when he gets back. for the next two hours though, i'm going to pour as much attention on this little girl as possible. because seriously, how adorable is she?!

oh my heart.

needs vs. wants

i didn't realize that life would change so much by simply adding just one person into the mix. it's been a little over 9 months since that person entered our family. i'm just getting to the point where i can handle the added craziness and work. i think. i say that and then this afternoon i will likely be scrubbing poop out of the carpet while trying to prevent the pooper from crawling through said poop while choking on tiny pieces of lint she found in the carpet as finn shouts, "look at me mommy. turn your head and look and me. watch me do this." followed by him jumping in a circle or something equally exciting. it's just a normal day in my life of juggling the one who needs the most attention with the one who wants the most attention. case in point, this series of photos attempting to get one image of ada standing up. eighth times the charm.

1st day of school

i used to turn my nose up to those women. you know. the ones who cried when their kids went to school for the first time. why on earth would anyone cry? their children hadn't left them for good. it's just preschool. plus, that the point of parenthood and the nature of life. you have babies who grow up into toddlers and go to preschool and guess what? then they grow into older kids who go to elementary school!!! suck it up ladies, and deal with it! those women are crazy! am i right?

WRONG! sitting at finn's preschool parent orientation at the end of august brought a flood of emotions that i was not prepared to deal with. the teachers simply talking about how to drop off your child was enough to bring tears to my eyes. tears in my cynical, judging eyes. retribution for all those women who i made fun of. come first day of school, i sat in the parking lot for the entire time just making sure finn was okay. i couldn't bear to leave.

don't get me wrong, i see the positive side of this. i relish the time that finn is at school making friends and learning to be more independent. and for two and half hours, ada and i have a little girly one-on-one time, which is usually just spent with me picking up coffee and us giggling at each other and enjoying the silence. but then i look at her, and i remember that only two years ago, i was staring at my firstborn in the same way, while he was just learning to do the exact same things that she is. that firstborn is now in school. cue the waterworks and stop judging me.

delores

delores. it just sounds like a sweet grandma name, doesn't it? i would hope that everyone has a grandma who is a kind-hearted, selfless, amazing woman. who shares her warmth and love openly. who is the quiet, underlying foundation of their family. i was blessed with two of those women. on sunday, the second went home to heaven.

my grandma was an incredible woman, an incredible role model. Christ was the center of her life, followed closely by her family and dear friends. she raised three more incredible women, who i get the pleasure of calling my mom and aunts. for that alone, i am forever grateful. she showed me how to love, respect, and adore your family. she showed me how to live in spite of events that could cause you to stumble. over the last few years, i have watched this woman become stronger than i had ever gotten to witness. she became a fighter. she used everything she could to try to kick cancer's ass. more importantly, she ignored cancer when she could and continued to live her life.

there's nothing sad about losing a life well lived. she was a courageous woman until the very end. my dear grandma, i will cherish you throughout my life.

happy father's day!

my dad thinks it's funny to take a horrible picture before taking a nice, relaxed one. it's just his thing. now i know to take at least two photos every time because there's a good chance he'll have a crazy face in the first one. i think my brothers have inherited this trait. it's annoying because it took me far too long to find a normal photo of my dad and i. lots of sorting through photos of my brothers fake-punching each other in the nuts or my dad with his googly eyes. i'm related to a brood full of crazies, but i wouldn't trade them for anyone! happy father's day, dad!

avery and ada

they're destined to be best friends just like their mommies. i'm so glad to finally have gotten to meet avery jane, my friend betsy's sweet little lady! it's also good to unload the hardships of newborns (and now not-so-newborns) with someone who is going through it at the same exact time. i love you bets and am looking forward to many adventures with our kids!

3 months later

if you remember this, you will not believe how calm finn was this time we took an adventure to the farm. when we got there, he acted like he and the owner were best of friends. two farmers who had known each other their entire lives. he marched back to the barns with his rain boots on as if he was in charge of the place, walking in on about 6 pigs who like to snack on marshmallows. i seriously could not have written a better scenario for children. pigs eating marshmallows. who knew? finn was in heaven and i was just happy he wasn't crying like the last time.

a day away

i don't get to spend much time alone with finn. if i do, it's about ten minutes before i hear the distant cries of a certain someone and finn says, "go get ada...she's sad," then hangs his head. talk about an immense surge of mommy guilt.

needless to say, when i told finn that he and i were going to go to the zoo by ourselves, he was a little confused but thoroughly excited. he kept saying, "ada's at home with daddy. mommy and finn are alone. we didn't bring ada with us. just me and my mommy at the zoo. i'm holding mommy's hand and ada is at home" and so on and so forth. literally. so on and so forth, because the kid wouldn't shut up about everything he was seeing or smelling or feeling or thinking. we were gone for about three hours and i don't i experienced ten seconds straight of silence. we were alone and having fun and he wanted me to know. guilt erased!

may 1st

three sundays ago, the sermon was on baptism and the importance of making this public proclamation of your relationship with Christ, and the whole time i felt this intense urging to do it. my mind was racing with questions and concerns and what-ifs. should i do it the next time they offer it? should i wait until finn wants to get baptized-that'd be so cool? what would i say on the video they run before dunking me? would people wonder why i hadn't done it before? i wonder if the water is freezing?! which clothes should i wear so i don't look stupid? what if they dunk me too long, i panic and scream as i'm coming up? that will scare anyone else away...

i know. mostly ridiculous questions that have nothing to do with the purpose of baptism, but, for the first time, i was certain of one thing. i actually wanted to get baptized. i had been fighting this for years and years, because i was just too dang proud. i had gotten baptized as an infant, but the more contemporary churches i later attended all insisted that baptism be a choice you make after you've accepted Christ into you life. i got the whole idea behind it, but i had this feeling of, "if i've been a christian for 15+ years, there's no point in getting baptized now with the 'new christians'." and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. stop being so proud! a 15-year old christian is no better than a 5-minute old christian. just proclaim Christ is my center. this is about me and Him, not me and the rest of the church.

and after this final understanding, i look up and notice the baptismal on the stage. dang! they are going to do a spontaneous baptism, right in the midst of my revelation where i can't turn back. it's amazing how God changes our hearts just in time, huh? seconds later, robbie asked anyone who wanted to participate to go to the back to change into clothes they had available and come on out for the baptism. it was the most amazing experience. there i was in oversized men's workout attire and an old-lady swimming suit, climbing into a cow trough with a seat made of a cinder block and what i think was a plastic cutting board on top (our church budget is pretty small), getting baptized in the name of Christ. it was the perfect way for me to do it. just getting out of my own way and letting my heart openly express my love.

oh, josh got baptized, too (very cool!). and no, the water wasn't freezing. it was gloriously warm!

laughing at crying babies

i am finally getting around to putting ada's baby announcement in the plymouth newspaper for my mom. i know, i know. she's 3.5 months old and i'm just getting to it. clearly it was low on the priority list, behind, well, everything. but at last it's done. i did enjoy the last few minutes though of laughing hysterically at sweet ada's newborn session. she hated every minute of it, and all the "good" (read non-screaming) pictures were shot in the three seconds before she realized that she wasn't being held or sucking a boob. i cannot thank my brother-in-law ryan enough for being patient and getting whatever he could. can you tell i'm already dreading the 4 month pictures? i'm just going to continue to ignore the fact that we ought to be thinking of making an appointment with a photographer. so not looking forward to it.

crafting

i'm a serious crafter now. i even purchased a hot glue gun the other day. that means i'm really serious. i made some cute prize carrots (martha stewart's idea of course), which i'm going to hide along with the easter eggs. twisted inside each one is a little trinket or toy. i let finn unravel one early, which was a terrible idea, because i now have to keep them hidden in a high space so that he can't grab another.

a little time to myself

this morning, i woke up to a car alarm outside our open window. an alarm amplified in annoyance because of the time. it was 7am, about an hour earlier than i prefer to greet the morning, but today i decided to take advantage of that extra hour. i got up, drank a hot cup of coffee, pumped, then took brody on a run. the term "run" here is used very loosely in this instance, as it was more of a sequence of jog, heavily puffing walk, jog, barely moving limp, and so on for a half hour.

i thought that the energy it would take to get these last five pounds off my midsection would be more than i could bare, but i think i'm actually going to enjoy this process. a little time without crying or laundry or "mom, watch this!" followed by some stupid little gesture, which i do find quite adorable. a little time to spend with my first furry child that is often neglected and sometimes completely forgotten about. a little time to breathe in some fresh air and enjoy the newness of spring. a little time to remember not to hate my body, because this is the body that gave me two of the most amazing children. a little time to retrain that slightly flabby body to enjoy moving again. a little time to myself. it's a little bit of time i'll be happy to wake up early for.

first facial hair

it seems like every day is dress up day. last week, finn found a stick-on "mushmash" (mustache) and wouldn't take it off for the remainder of the day. i had to pull one of those stupid mom lines out and say "no, finn. we have to take it off because the mustache needs a nap too!" i'm always impressed by how dumb kids are when those lines work. i mean that in the nicest possible way. i guess i don't really mind it because i'm kind of a big fan of tom selleck, so the mushmash was reattached following nap.

in other news, i'm exhausted. huge lover of all things spring except daylight savings time. losing 1 hour of my life two weeks ago has unbelievably impacted me. i cannot wake up. what on earth is going on!? but what's great is that the windows are open right now. true, my kids may be a little chilled from the 53 degree temps, but i need fresh air. spending the last 11 weeks in our house for fear of sickness and dirty snow and the very good chance of two epic meltdowns at once has left me a little stir crazy. so we're bringing the outdoors in and occasionally getting our little booties out there as well. WELCOME SPRING! i've been longing for you!

i am in love

when i turned a year older

i'm 27. it happened last weekend, but i was too busy being pampered and celebrating to worry about announcing it on here. oh, and that two kids thing. they keep me from doing anything beyond potty training, changing diapers, feeding/nursing, or wiping spit up out of ada's neck creases. yum! anyway, it happened. i graduated into the beautiful age of 27, which feels ridiculously older than 26. i never thought 30 would bother me, but if 27 is hitting me this hard, i'm sure 30 will rock me to my core. there is at least one thing that just gets better with each passing year and that is my awesome, ever-expanding family. they pretty much rock!