these boobs are mine again

with sadness in my heart, i finally have given up nursing mr. finn. i kind of eased him into doing it only twice daily about a month & 1/2 ago, then suddenly, he was too old for it and was done. for the last 2 weeks, i've been a little sad. it really was amazing though. when finn was about 4 or 6 weeks old, i wanted nothing more than to stop nursing. the nerve in my neck was pinched and the pain was nearly unbearable. i remember telling myself that i really didn't want to nurse anyways and that it was all just something that i got guilted into. but it really became so much more once i got the hang of it and my physical therapy was over. sure, it was totally healthy for finn, but honestly, it fed my desire for meaning, for purpose, for the closeness that no man can have with his child because he was not blessed with the gift of lactation. i'll miss those moments of quiet and snuggling, especially since this child won't snuggle any other time and is always on the move (stupid man hormones raging through his body).

one thing i was not to sad to give up...the pump. i made a lovely stew of pump parts as i did the final boiling process to sanitize the pieces and pack them away for baby #2. we had a good run, medela, but these puppies deserve a break.